The New Dodge Ram: Not driving one is pretty much admitting you have a vagina.
Fuckin' A! That's like a shot of testosterone directly in your eyeball, isn't it? I've never seen an ad so blatant--hold on a second---Hey, whattayou lookin' at, queer?! What is that, a Ford F-150? Why don't you drive your little gaymobile down to gaytown and be gay with other dudes' boners and shit! DODGE RULEZZ!!!!!! WHEWWWWWWWW!!!! [shotguns a Busch Light, fires rifle in the air]
Why do you warn against Testicular Gigantism? Isn't that what the american dream all about? Swelling your bank account and your sack to ridiculous levels? My balls are so big I can barely sit in my chair! I need a big bed just to carry 'em around! It's not like they'd fit in a Prius or some tree-huggin' pansy-mobile like that! Yeah, I'm typin' at you Fridley! Get yer butt back to work and bring me some beer!
ReplyDeletei feel at least 35% more fertile right now.
ReplyDeleteAfter watching this ad, I feel as if my husband is not a real man. I must make him give up the Prius and buy a Dodge Ram stat.
ReplyDeleteI have kind of a problem with the Dodge Ram. Oh, nothing's wrong with the truck...It's just that the name of the thing is a self-contained oxymoron. Dodge...Ram. These are diametrically-opposed concepts, aren't they?
ReplyDeleteThat's kind of like selling a car called the "Infiniti Terminus," or the "Mercury Sloth." Ridiculous. I mean...c'mon. Would anyone buy a "Mini Mammoth?"
Hell, while we're at it, why not get all European, and have a car called the "Fiat Acquiesce"?
as a man with one ball...i thank DOF for making the one good one i have left, just a bit bigger..
ReplyDeleteCT