DoF Newswire

(photo by John Shinkle, scraped from Politico.com)

Above:

Enjoying newfound free time, former vice president Dick Cheney laughs as he forces his sobbing illegal alien housekeeper to drown a puppy in front of him before handing out her week's pay. Says Cheney, "It's just a fun, silly tradition Ernesta and I have. It helps us relate."