It's that day again.

So as we all know, about 8 years ago some pricks that were pissed at the ol' U.S. took a couple of our planes and rammed them into a few buildings. We at the DoF give a heartfelt "sucks, man" to anyone who lost anyone in that terrible Television event.

But steering away from the DoF and speaking only in my Reno pants; (which are generously let out in the crotch) let's tune down the Lee Greenwood for a second and use this day to also educate ourselves on why people hate us the way they do.

Is it because of our "freeedum" like ol' W. would preach? No. The particular brand of freedom he speaks of only really applies to old money white folk anyhow. While Muslim fundamentalists are generally crazy fucking nut bags (Seriously dude? Kill all that don't agree with you. The world may take issue with you), we need to stop playing the victim role on this one. Well, besides the actual victims. You go ahead.

But to those who merely watched it on TV, and use it as some aggressive battle cry for America; I have two suggestions:

1.) Read some history. Get a scope of how things actually work. Maybe check out "The Way Things Work" By David Macaulay. You need a crash course. In everything.

2.) This. You poor, poor man.

Granted, we've done some lovely things that the world powers in history's past wouldn't have done. I mean we let Canada hang around when our friends are over, even kind of treat them like part of the crew. We're pretty cool.

But we have wronged many-a-rebuilding nation.

and I'd like to disclaim "IN NO WAY DO WE CONDONE WHAT HAPPENED 9/11/2001, NOR DO WE SUPPORT IT OR BELIEVE WE 'DESERVED' IT." However, taking into effect all we have done to others, a logical man cannot be surprised of an attack.

I can comfortably say that whatever our government did was probably in the best interest for us, while destroying others. I understand this. However, there will be a reaction for every action.

I was going to do a buttload of research to kinda thumb through all what we've done, then I got lazy and just pulled up Michael Moore, which I hate doing since he totally makes this look like some commie-lefty statement when all I'm trying to say is that we're no angels.



My point is this. To have a day of remembrance is dope. My point is NOT to shit all over that. Those people didn't deserve to die. Nobody deserves to die like that, and worse, to have whorish media companies have their biggest profit day ever, continuously showing 3,000 people murdered in slow-mo from 100 different angles.

But we must also understand this has a chance of happening if we keep pissing on bee hives.

Maybe instead we pull all of our military bases and the trillions of dollars we spend on overseas military bases, stop being the world's police, and start getting our country back on its feet.

Or, ya know, spend all the money we don't have on a war we can't win. Ya know, whatever.

New 9/11 Memorial Opens, CNN Poops on it

by Gloucester de la Vegas, Gifted/Talented Child, Arts/Culture Correspondent

We here at "Diary of Fools" like making fun of other people. Why wouldn't we? Sure, I eat paste and believe in the Tooth Fairy, but I still know they deserve it. Welcome to life, old people. It's half about sorrow and half about how dumb you are. I mean, not YOU, but those other people.

But if CNN is going to put up an article concerning a new memorial to those who died on September 11, 2001, in terrorist attacks...why would they make the headline "Pentagon 9/11 memorial honors victims in symbols, concrete"? And the lack of capitalization is theirs, not mine. And that's just the start of it. If you read this "article", you will learn exactly how NOT to write about sculpture, and how to make every possible mistake.

Here's just one key quote: "the wall is designed to remind visitors of the youngest and oldest victims, wrapping the memorial in symbolic imagery." Well, put simply, and I guess that's how you like it, CNN.com, -- an artistic memorial to a tragedy can't be, so to speak "wrapped in [its own] symbolic imagery". No artwork can, that doesn't make sense.

In about 13 years I hope I can get an internship at CNN.com so I can advise the staff of writers there how to write. I'm joking, of course, I'm sure by then they'll know how. But for fun, here's a sentence like the one referenced above. You know, just for practice: "The Popsicle, wrapped in its wrap that graphically suggested the brand 'Popsicle' and enclosed the frozen treat, was symbolic of an ice cream product." I smell Pulitzer.

Yes, that's what this whole Web "article" is like. And for the record, it's actually because I, Gloucester de la Vegas, actually do care about America and 9/11 and humanity, and stuff. So I just would like a major news source like CNN not to make a mess of it. I'm in 1st grade now, and I know that I have moronic peers who write like monkeys with a crayon. But at least they're not paid by CNN to do it.

Hey, personal note to Sarah Palin: I'll bet you could read this CNN article and not find anything wrong with it. Nothing personal, it's just a gut feeling. You seem like a nice mommy, and I'm in a position to know, uniquely. But if you think I'm saying you're a bit dumb, shrill, self-serving, lack circumspection, and really don't have any normal human decency, yes, that's what I suspect about you. I'm sure you're very busy being on the campaign trail and you don't have time to consider what is or isn't good journalism. And the liberal media will always hate you because you're beautiful, or so you think.

But again, awesome mommy, I'm sure.

The above statements do not represent the editorial or moral position of "Diary of Fools".dot whatever. This is a legal disclaimer, of sorts. It may not be perfect, but it does the job. Get used to it, old people. This is the new way of doing things. You'll see when I'm 18, which will be the year 2020. There will be new "World Trade towers" by then, and they won't even be new any more, and hopefully the world will be at peace.