Hey, RT, this one's for you

So election day is nearly over... yeah, I know, my timing's impeccable. Anyway, I got this amazing voicemail yesterday from an obviously frustrated old lady, who thought she was leaving a message for the mayor and just wants him to help to keep the goddamn noise outside down! But seriously, no one's listening to her because this probably isn't the first time she's called.

I'm sure RT Rybak is an avid reader of Diary of Fools and will get to helping this lady out ASAP. Rock the vote, people!

Close, but missing 8lbs of human pushed out an orifice

Diary of Fools is about to get Mommified, most likely to the utter horror of the other contributors. (HAHA!) But, I can't help but share this ridonkulously awesome video. Some brave (mentally unstable?) Aussie doctor decided he should figure out if men could handle the pain of childbirth.



To almost no mother's surprise, he cannot. And it's laughable that he only makes it, what, 2 hours? And that's with the aid of laughing gas - which, WTF? Laughing gas?? I mean, that's kind of like putting a band-aid on amputated arm. The smirk on the woman's face when Dr. Manpussy decides to give up is worth the entire 10 minute watch alone.

She's a MAN, Baby!

One doesn't have to live in Minnesota to have heard about the bottomless pit of greatness that is Michele Bachmann. She's a fighter for the little man, a caller-out of those anti-American, fighter of homo kindergartners and tells it like it is (in Fridley)! But I ask you this:

Are we misunderstanding her?


This, my friends, is Michele Bachmann's action figure. Notice anything strange? Out of place? Uncharacteristic? PERHAPS THE 2-PUNCH LESBIAN POWER SUIT AND MATCHING DYKE BOOTS?? Not since my diabetic, frankensteinian 7th grade music teacher have I seen such orthopedic monstrosities. It's not all suspicious though... Crazy eyes? Check. Breast implants? Check. Dark complexion? Che- wait, what?? Michele Bachmann is a Latina lesbian? You heard it here first.