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Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Diary of Fools Newswire
TV execs to viewing public: "Fuck it."
All major networks to completely phase out original programming by 2010
Diary of Fools News Service
Hollywood, CA-
With remakes of Knight Rider and American Gladiators already on the air and enjoying strong viewership, TV executives from all 4 major networks (CBS, ABC, NBC, FOX) and their mentally retarded cousin (the CW) have announced plans to halt all original programming beginning this fall.
The announcement comes on the heels of a study that shows that after 60+ years of sitting on their asses and mindlessly staring at the television, the majority of Americans will pretty much watch any piece of shit, just as long as they don't have to think about their job or take anything remotely resembling an active interest in their home life or world affairs.
Knight Rider '08- as shitty as it was in 1984.
"I think the success of our very own sitcom Two and a Half Men is proof of this," said a CBS representative recently. "As soon as a Charlie Sheen vehicle hits number 1 in the Nielsen ratings, it's obvious that people just want something to stare at from 7-10 (CST) so they can forget about the bitter cocktail of unrelenting tedium and shattered dreams that has become their lives...plus doing a remake of The Hogan Family saves us a shit ton of money."
Though the major networks will load-up their lineups with remakes of past hits such as NBC's The Cosby Show, starring Cedrick the Entertainer as Dr. Huxtable, it is only one phase in a larger cost-cutting plan.
"Eventually we're going to go with an "all test-pattern, all the time" format," shares Ted Brunson of NBC. "I smell a ratings smash."
Meanwhile, ABC will base its programming around it's newest show Shiny, Pretty Lights next fall. The program will feature 2 hours of shiny, pretty lights set to music.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
The Biggest Loser briefly becomes not the most boring show on TV
Like Mark Lemke in the 1991 World Series, sometimes things that are usually so woefully below average have an out-of-body experience and briefly become something completely brilliant and awesome. Last night was like that for the NBC program The Biggest Loser (CLICK).
Oh, SNAP!
"Why don't you tell me what you mean, Jillian?" Effing classic.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Diary of Fools Recommends...
A look into what you need to be watching, reading or listening to right now.What: Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, a hysterical 2004 British television series made to be a parody of both bad '80s action TV shows and the horror genre.
Where: Currently on DVD. All episodes available on YouTube.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
A letter from Blaine Fridley
Hello,
We here at the Diary of Fools pride ourselves in entertaining you with nothing but original material. However, every so often we come across something so incredibly AWESOME, that it simply can not be ignored. This would be one of those times.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Diary of Fools presents the reunion of the quintessential animatronic cover band of the 80's...Showbiz Pizza Place's Rock-afire Explosion!
(Click pic to play)
Yes. It seems a very special individual completely gave up on ever getting laid and instead put that time and energy into resuscitating the greatest collection of musical animal robots to ever grace the stage of a shitty pizzeria arcade. And the Diary of Fools could not be more thankful.
We here at the Diary of Fools pride ourselves in entertaining you with nothing but original material. However, every so often we come across something so incredibly AWESOME, that it simply can not be ignored. This would be one of those times.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Diary of Fools presents the reunion of the quintessential animatronic cover band of the 80's...Showbiz Pizza Place's Rock-afire Explosion!
(Click pic to play)
Yes. It seems a very special individual completely gave up on ever getting laid and instead put that time and energy into resuscitating the greatest collection of musical animal robots to ever grace the stage of a shitty pizzeria arcade. And the Diary of Fools could not be more thankful.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
1st Annual Diary of Fools "That's Web-tastic!" Award
There are times when surfing the Internet that you stumble across a website that reminds you of just how incredible the Internet can be. A website obviously devoted to breaking barriers, to stretching the limits of what we previously thought could be done with this amazing technology. And it is for those websites that the Diary of Fools created the "That's Web-tastic!" Award, to be given annually to the website that rocks the cyber community to its very core and changes the possibilities of where people thought the Internet could take humanity.
With that in mind, it is a great pleasure to give the first annual Diary of Fools "That's Web-tastic!" Award to: http://www.centex.net/~elliott/unicorn.html. One click and I think - nay - I KNOW you will agree.
Never, and I mean NEVER, has unicorn art and the Casio keyboard come together as divinely as they do on this page.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Opinions are like A-holes...
...everybody has one, and just like A-holes, most are just a conduit for passing large steaming piles of turd. Like this unbelievable review I stumbled upon of a Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode by a brilliant Netflix user, for instance (for those not familiar with the MST3000 premise, please school yourself here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Science_Theater_3000 ahhh, Wikipedia. The "Sex Panther" of online reference tools. "60% of the time, it's right every time").
The review reads like this:
"I would have loved the movie if it wasn't for that Joel (or was it Mike?)Hodgson and friends. Their comments during the movie - making it impossibleto hear the movie itself! - ruined the movie!! I had seen this movie yearsago and wanted to see it again because I had really liked it then. But, withthese MST3000 people talking all through the movie, you couldn't hear athing that was actually going on in the movie. All you could hear was theMST people! Very disappointing for me! To make things worse, none of theircomments were funny - with the exception of one single place in the movie!Stupid, yes, but not funny. I'll never order anything else that has MSTattached to it. My husband feels the same way. I would like to make acomment about another review for this movie I read. A Norma Jennings said,and I quote, "er dirty dad er, or is it boyfriend (its the backwoods -what's the diff?", end quote. I take exception to that remark. I am from thebackwoods, and there is a heck of a lot of difference! Anyway, the movie wasa waste of time because of the MST people, therefore I have to rate it withjust one star, "hated it". If I could get it without these MST people, oranyone else, making comments about it all through the movie, I would." http://www.netflix.com/StrangerReviews?prid=561649078&lnkctr=MDP2RL
If only the technology existed for me to reply to this reviewer by sending her a swarm of ill-tempered bees via broadband. Didn't like MST3000 because she "couldn't hear over all the remarks"?! WTF, lady!
That's like writing a review that says "Yeah, I really would've enjoyed Showgirls if only the razor-sharp dialogue wasn't constantly interrupted by all that gratuitous nudity."
That's all I have to say about that.
Yours Truly,
Blaine Fridley
The review reads like this:
"I would have loved the movie if it wasn't for that Joel (or was it Mike?)Hodgson and friends. Their comments during the movie - making it impossibleto hear the movie itself! - ruined the movie!! I had seen this movie yearsago and wanted to see it again because I had really liked it then. But, withthese MST3000 people talking all through the movie, you couldn't hear athing that was actually going on in the movie. All you could hear was theMST people! Very disappointing for me! To make things worse, none of theircomments were funny - with the exception of one single place in the movie!Stupid, yes, but not funny. I'll never order anything else that has MSTattached to it. My husband feels the same way. I would like to make acomment about another review for this movie I read. A Norma Jennings said,and I quote, "er dirty dad er, or is it boyfriend (its the backwoods -what's the diff?", end quote. I take exception to that remark. I am from thebackwoods, and there is a heck of a lot of difference! Anyway, the movie wasa waste of time because of the MST people, therefore I have to rate it withjust one star, "hated it". If I could get it without these MST people, oranyone else, making comments about it all through the movie, I would." http://www.netflix.com/StrangerReviews?prid=561649078&lnkctr=MDP2RL
If only the technology existed for me to reply to this reviewer by sending her a swarm of ill-tempered bees via broadband. Didn't like MST3000 because she "couldn't hear over all the remarks"?! WTF, lady!
That's like writing a review that says "Yeah, I really would've enjoyed Showgirls if only the razor-sharp dialogue wasn't constantly interrupted by all that gratuitous nudity."
That's all I have to say about that.
Yours Truly,
Blaine Fridley
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Monday, December 24, 2007
Monday, December 03, 2007
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