Dof Shirt of the Week: Mental Images

Every time a woman eats a banana, she is thinking about someone's penis. Its true, ask a doctor if you don't believe me, jerk.

Use the power of mental suggestion at the bars this weekend with this snazzy shirt.

Per usual, if you're one of the growing many who find these shirts so fucking irresistible that you must have it, then this is where you click you sexy beast.

DoF Shirt of the Week: Sam Elliott Community College Stormin Snails!

Here at the Diary, we try to wear a few different hats. Sometimes we get topical. Sometimes we try our hand at some political humor. But most of the time it's pretty much current events and whatever broad social trends embarrass us to the point of anger.

However, sometimes...we just get random as fuck.

Ladies and Gentlemen....Your Sam Elliot Community College Stormin' Snails!

See it on a shirt here, babies!


Next Week- HE MAIL!!!

Dof Shirt of the Week: Insert Lame Moviequote Here

You know those guys who have no discernible talent, but can watch a movie once and nearly recite it to you, and they proudly lavish you with these "skills" the moment their third Natural Ice goes down.

Well, a natural counter would be a jump-kick to the side-head. But a more passive-aggressive, and therefore funnier approach would be to buy this kick-ass t-shirt, wear it under your worst flannel, and whip it out the second they get into their 18th Anchorman quote. (for the record, that movie still does rule, though.)




***UPDATE FROM LAST WEEK: It seems the fucks from the league office (movie quote) at Zazzle took down our shirt. We had sold a bundle, and it apparently caught the eye of Fox, who cease and desisted the shit out of us. Thats too bad.
We have done the best we can to take the strong concept by Merton and Reno, and make something of it.


We have this option, "That Show made me gay" Its obvious enough, and painfully free of any copyright infringement


And on my personal site, I made a slightly more to the point version.

DoF Shirt of the Week: Glee Made Me Gay.

Admit it. After enjoying a long episode of Glee, you kind of get the urge to go have a girl's day and spend your entire paycheck on some Manolo's don't you, Chuck P. Everyman?

Well embrace it fucker, its 2010. There is nothing "gay" about being Gay these days. So order a choco-tini, kick up your new pumps and celebrate your metrosexuality by wearing this beautiful shirt.

And again, want a cheaper shirt? Be sure to play around with the shirt options. But you know it looks hella cute like this, Champ.

To Buy, As always, click this moderately long hyperlink.

DoF Shirt of the Week: The Wonderful World of Mustaches!

We're back after another week-long hiatus folks. This time we have a special treat from Reno's brother and maybe-someday contributor Dan, who runs the very cool Officegangsta.com

This lovely tee celebrates the Tom Selleck in all of us. Personally, i'm a fan of "the provider"

Tell us whats your favorite, and hell, if you like buy the tee at their shop buy clicking on this super-long hyperlink right...now.



Coming next week: "Glee made me Gay"

Dof Shirt of the Week: 2012!!!!!!

The end is near, kids.

Only two years left.

Sure, one of the founders of the Methodist Church predicted it to be 1794, and was wrong.

Sure, the progressive Jehovah's Witness folk predicted it'd all come crashing down in 1914. Then 1915, 1918, 1920, 1925, 1941, 1975 and 1994, etc.

And of course, 2000. Soothsayer and well-known psychic Busta Rhymes was so sure of it, he made a (rather under-rated) album about it.


But that wasn't predicted by a long-ago extinct civilization that used sun dials, and had CALENDARS!!! THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO!?!?!

So...it must be all over. And if my subscriptions to Conspiracy Fancy have paid off, (which they have,) they have told me that the Liberal media will have planted clues to their grand scheme to spite us.

So after years of research, we have found out the game Space Invaders is actually an 8-bit dramatization of the upcoming events.

Prepare with caution, my people. If you need me December 22nd, 2012, I'll be be in a bombed out "Aladdin's Castle" playing it to learn how to infiltrate their stingy defenses.

Good luck.

Sexy? Go here.
http://www.zazzle.com/2012_they_are_coming_tshirt-235446768716513453

Dof Shirt of the Week (month?): I'm NOT FOOD!

Hey Boppers,

Sorry for the long break, I'd scramble for an excuse, but instead just imagine the truth: a dirty lazy artist just too self-important to take a break from mooching off others and doing as little as possible.

That said, in my busy calendar, I slapped this together.

See, he has a hole in his head. You killed him. You survived. Obviously all those first-person video games payed off instead of foolishly experiencing life.

Well no time to worry about that in the Apocolypse. Just slap this baby on and hope this strand of Zombie is smart enough to read. Or maybe don't. Either way, we'll know.

Like it enough to wear it? Meh? Well fuck you.

Oh you aren't sure? Well...here it is. Jerk.

http://www.zazzle.com/zombie_creedo_im_not_food_tshirt-235273617633625671

DoF Shirt of the week: Ginger PRIDE!

Everybody has heroes. Redheads just have cooler ones.

The famous Coifs of Shaun White, Conan O'Brien and of course, Ronald McDonald are emblazoned over a powerful "GINGER PRIDE"

RED POWER!!!

As always, click here to see it on more shirts/sweatshirts/mugs, etc.

Dof Shirt of the Week: Evil Smoking Donut Says:

Its not "they" who are out to get you, its him. The Evil Smoking Donut is the marionette master behind the scenes. Raising your ARM and blood pressure. Good Cholesterol? Ha. Thats him getting you fatter.

Give in. Obey. Eat more sugar, fatty.

As Always, click here if you're interested in succumbing to the inevitable.

If you're like me and you like cute little pastries (gay) you can customize the print on this version. Of course everyone who chooses this option will be telling me personally you think you're better than me.

Jerk.

DoF Tshirt of the week

Aaaaand we're officially back. Its been a minute since our last tshirt blow out. The Jobu has actually sold decent so thanks to all those who bought that shirt. As always all of our shirts are available over at our DoF Shop.

This week, available NOW "College: America's Gateway Drug"

Yeah, thats pretty sexy, right. Well if you dig, point your little arrow right here and click.

See ya next week, lovers.

DoF Shirt of the Week

The thing about polo shirts we like: Comfortable, easy, don't have to be ironed often, soaks up spilled beer nicely, considered 'dressing up' to most women.

The things we hate about polo shirts: We don't fucking play polo. Sure the Le Tigre is cute, but we're not Bjorn fucking Borg.

We at the Diary of Fools know this pain well, and we aim to fix it.

We present the NES controller shirt. Yeah, that bitch is embroidered.

So next time you feel like 'dressing up' we got you covered.

CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE

DoF Shirt of the Week

Yeah we're aware our current health care system is broken. Sure, we have our opinions on whether a socialized system would work or not.

But more importantly, we're really digging the new flaming hot Funyuns, man.

Check out this week's shirt, at the low price of $17.00

Interested yet? If so, click anywhere right here, sexy.

(note: even cheaper if you change the "shirt type" to "value t-shirt"- $13.80!)

DoF Shirt of the Week: Jobu

Thats right kiddos, after a week off (really, the second week?) the DoF Shirt of the Week is back!

Click Here. NOW


This snazzy devil pays proper respect and homage to Pedro Cerrano's Jobu Doll from the movie "Major League."

http://www.zazzle.com/jobucard_tshirt-235267326560846342?group=mens&lifestyle=classic&rf=238072715928897383

And really, what says you mean business better than a shirt with a movie character fashioned onto a 1989 Donruss RATED ROOKIE card?

Absolutely fucking nothing. Ever.

DoF Shirt of the Week

A new weekly series will feature our "shirt of the week." Your favorite Diaryoffools.com superheroes will conspire to create a new shirt each week for your sexual consumption with the hopes that you lovely souls will be so inspired you'll buy said shirt, and someday be our reason for being. With that, we give you...

T-Shirt of the Week #1

"Borscht Belt Bombers- The CHOSEN team!"

"Challah at your boy was a close second"

The Swinging Padre gets Circumcised and rejects non-kosher swine. Besides, who needs a Bat if you have a two-day-old Challah?

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE SHIRT IN GREATER DETAIL/PURCHASE