Blaine Fridley, Editor-in-Chief/Dreamweaver
Why so negative, people?
Why so negative, people?
I know the swine flu has recently killed off 0.00002% of the world's population along with making approximately 0.000025% feel kinda yucky.
Alarming shit, I know.
To think that swine flu is responsible for more deaths than falling coconuts alone (0.0000004%) is quite unnerving. I truly understand your anxiety.
But take a deep breath under that surgical mask, Friend-O. 'cuz like, swine flu can be totally awesome, too. Yup. It's true.
OK, admittedly I've put all my "swine flu is awesome" eggs in the "possible death of Spencer and Heidi" basket. But someone has to have the silver lining, right? And if it doesn't come from the orgy of positivity known as the Diary of Fools, where else is it coming from?
I don't really know who Spencer and Heidi are. I know they're on some Zeus-forsaken MTV pile of shit where vapid stares outnumber interesting bits of dialogue 50 to 1.
They also have very nice teeth.
And according to People.com, there's also a chance that they could get swine flu and die.
Finally, a positive spin to the swine flu:
Though, my favorite part of this "story" doesn't have anything to do with the swine flu. It's Spencer Pratt's closing quote:
"Since it's a recession, we just might go to Santa Monica Beach [for their honeymoon]."
Yeah, Spence. You, me and that dude with 3 kids and a G.E.D. that just got laid off from the GM plant? We're all in the same boat, brother. Say hi to the guys at the Santa Monica Beach soup kitchen for me.
Dipshit.
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