Pursuant to the ruling rendered by the honorable Judge Cox on Sept. 12, 2009, in the matter of B. Fridley v. M. Rodcancer and Rabble, I'm here to make my introductory post, which, and I quote, "shall be submitted no earlier than March 16th, 2010, and no later than 11:59 p.m. on March the 23rd, 2010, and shall be of length no less than 250 words, and no greater than 500."
While I
am legally compelled to make 2 posts a month, I'm
not legally compelled to care. So let's throw some shit at the wall and see what sticks.
And without further ado...
Here's some
news.
Yes, Leno...I have both seen and heard about this. F*ck your show.Apparently, some vaggie dreadlock types are gettin' all whacked off just because Santa Monica area sushi bar The Hump (should be your first clue) served up some whale meat to customers who broke the secret code and...asked politely for some whale meat. And not just any whale meat-- this was the succulent meat of the sei whale, a species both endangered and internationally protected. Except not by the Japanese.
Well,
"bully!" to The Hump, I say.
Hot eats, cool treats.
The only people complaining here are those uninitiated to the boner-inducing joys of endangered cuisine. Why, just the other day I savored the hell out an albino Bengal tiger flank steak sandwiched between two elephant appendices, deep fried in panda fat (ask for the "Threatened" platter at your local Mt. Fuji). Sure, the elephants could live without their appendices, but I swear it tastes better when they're dead. So make sure you ask for a picture of the dead elephants next time you order.
Hey, it's simple human nature. You tell me there's an important species in dire need of protection, I wanna see how it tastes with Ken Davis BBQ sauce. Don't blame me when what's left of the Abyssinian longclaw population is fertilizing the local reservoir.
Next on my endangered cuisine expedition? Level-headed conservative stew.
Hey-O!
Peace Fools, until my next compulsory court-mandated post.
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