Welcome back to another edition of Superstar Showcase! Last week's contest was a runaway, with Ellen and Donald earning 100% of the vote on the strength of their undeniably infectious song, "He Loves a Fat Girl". This week's Showcase, however, features a diverse field sure to have the vote split like the proverbial post-coital urine stream. Don't forget, everybody who votes for their favorite Superstar Showcase contestant is automatically entered to win a free DoF T-shirt. Just cast your vote in the comments section and send your contact and sizing info to diaryoffools@hotmail.com (absolutely NO info is given out). Today's first contestant is a legend of cable access, who goes by the name of Sondra. Or Ms. Prill if you're Nasty:
OK...nice work, Sondra. How you were able to turn down that group of swarthy middle-aged men in a Best Western hot tub is beyond me. You most definitely are in Control.
Our next contestants are a nameless Finnish collective who are finally answering this nagging question: What if the movie Grease took place in a late 1970s space disco:
Whoahohoho! That, my friends, is what you call raising the bar! The only thing that even has a remote chance of topping that is a magic show, because EVERYBODY loves a magic show (everybody=the mentally handicapped)! But not just any magic show. I'm talking about Jerry Callahan and his cleverly-named "The Paper Balls in the Bottomless Box" routine:
Holy Crap! It used to be one would be burned at the stake for wizardry like that!
Whew…well, good luck voters, that wraps up another edition of the Superstar Showcase. You definitely have a hard choice to make. As always, vote early and vote often --- free DoF swag is at stake!
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8 comments:
im pretty sure that my mind just went into overload. um..haha ok well the first lady, i made it 51 seconds in to the video..my life is scared. the lsd filled grease lighting steford wives, what the fuck was going on with the water purifcation systems in the 80's. The grandpa that needs a hearing aid, pretty sure there was music playing the whole time,i felt for him but got that "hey come sit on my lap little boy feeling!"... I Got to give it to the fins..fuck at least they where on drugs for doing what they where doing(Speculation) The other two where sober and not well at the time of filming...
and i thought the swedes were responsible for some severe musical atrocities...
my vote is for sondra on the strength of the video's zuba-wearing, poodle-headed back-up dancers.
I always have wondered what Grease would look like in a space disco. That video is pretty much frame for frame what I envisioned.
Fins 3, Magician/Ms. Nasty 0.
MAGIC!
How to choose...How to choose?
The magic guy, while cheesy, has at least rehearsed. And his act is severely overwrought, but he's not profoundly terrible.
Sondra Prill is just LUSCIOUS. Especially at 2:22, when it becomes apparent that the existing lyrics wouldn't make sense when sung (such as it were) by someone else. So instead of going with "Ms. Jackson" (inaccurate), or "Ms. Prill" (bad meter), she instead opts to just snarl incoherently. The delusion that requires is admirable.
But I, too, must give it to the Finns. Mostly because, unlike the Magician (hardly awful) and Sondra (consistently awful) they STARTED awful, AND JUST KEPT GETTING WORSE. That video had it all: Hilarious choreography, horrid singing, ridiculously forced lyrics over a pointless melody, shitty outfits, worse hair, and "special effects" that ripped off John Travolta apropos of absolutely nothing.
It was so full of fail, it must win.
Remember to email after you comment to diaryoffools@hotmail.com.
we're so big time we still use a dead relic like hotmail for our email service.
Yah, we rule pretty fucking hard.
Oh, this isn't even a contest. It's Ms. Prill with her NASTY rendition. And just what is it that put her over the top to #1? It wasn't enough that her performance was just AWFUL -- but she didn't know the right words. You know how sometimes you sing the wrong lyrics to something and never realize it til someone makes fun of you? Well am I the only one who caught her singing "A bathtub full of gentlemen really turns me off" -- of course the line is "You've got to be a gentleman or you'll really turn me off" but Sondra's line is so ridiculously stupid that I can't believe she got her whole crew to actually go along with it to the point of putting three naked guys into a hot-tub! Kudos! Win.
Fins in space
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