Happy Holidays*!

* Only if you are white, heterosexual and "Christian" (you should aslo probably be a male)

By Lucy Parker

I'm a festive person, I love all holidays. But most of all I love celebrating holidays, I really get into them. For example, Christmas. I started listening to Christmas music two weeks ago. It makes me happy, pure and simple. I love all the decorations, the trees, the lights, the very typical holiday fun.

One of the things I miss living in New York is driving around and looking at people's Christmas lights. When those giant snow globes came out, I was amazed (and slightly annoyed). But, this year I have found an outdoor Christmas display that takes the cake. The racist cake.

That's right kiddies for a small suggested donation of just over $80 to the American Family Association, you too can have this glowing '5"5 cross prominently displayed on your front yard this Christmas. For some reason this is reminding me of something. Hmmmmm. My guess is that this will be a real popular item in the South.

There is nothing quite like the holiday spirit. And, for the folks over at the American Family Association, their holiday spirit is filled with something extra special: hate. The American Family Association is an ultra conservative “Christian” group that pretty much dislikes, oh I dunno, everyone. If you visit their website, afa.net, you’ll notice several links which you may click on. But, if you want some real entertainment click on the products link.

I find they're DVD selection to be quite riveting. Here are my top two personal favorites.

“They’re Coming to Your Town”, (DVD) the website describes the DVD as such :

"Residents of the small Arkansas town of Eureka Springs noticed the homosexual community was growing. But they felt no threat. They went about their business as usual. Then, one day, they woke up to discover that their beloved Eureka Springs, a community which was known far and wide as a center for Christian entertainment--had changed. The City Council had been taken over by a small group of homosexual activists.

The Eureka Springs they knew is gone. It is now a national hub for homosexuals. Eureka Springs is becoming the San Francisco of Arkansas. The story of how this happened is told in the new AFA DVD “They’re Coming To Your Town. . . . . City Council member Joyce Zeller said the city will now be promoted, not as a Christian resort, but a city “selling peace, relaxation, history and sex.”

WHAT? PEACE? DEAR GOD NO! Did you say RELAXATION? I can’t even bear to continue, all of these things are horrible!

https://store.afa.net/player/player.asp?movie=http://www.afa.net/videos/60secpromo_store.flv

(click here to watch the trailer!)

“It’s Not Gay” (DVD) described as follows:

"It's Not Gay presents a story that few have heard, allowing former homosexuals the opportunity to tell their own story in their own words. Along with medical and mental health experts, these individuals express a clear warning that the sanitized version of homosexuality being presented to students is not the whole truth.

Uncompromising, yet compassionate, It's Not Gay is a fair and balanced approach to this challenging subject."

Something tells me that their idea of "fair and balanced" equates to fear and bigotry. I can't even make fun of this, it's just too dumb. So thank you AFA for being the Grinch, the Scrooge, for a holiday celebrating the birth of a man who promoted peace, love and acceptance of all people.