Pepsi Max: The diet soda for men!
by Blaine Fridley, Editor-in-Chief/Leader in the field of masculinity
What?
Granted, I don't drink diet soda ('cuz it's for queers), but really? Diet soda for men? What does that even mean? Before this enlightening message from Pepsi, I had no idea drinking diet soda was inherently femmy; I just knew it tasted like ass.
So what is the secret ingredient that makes Pepsi Max more manly?
The DoF Investigative Team did a little digging and found out:
Burt Reynolds chest hair.It's a fact: Each follicle of Reynolds chest hair contains enough super-concentrated masculinity to power 1.2 million Ford F-350 pick-ups for 1 month.
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1 comment:
Coca-Cola Corp. is working on a counter-strike involving Coke Zero and Chuck Norris Pubic Hair, which contains enough testerone to launch a commando strike to Mars, kick little green men ass and swing by Venus for a quickie before heading out to the sun to threaten into providing either more or less heat for earth depending on the latest climate-related hysteria.
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