I think it's safe to say, we've all been there.Browsing the aisles of our local Wal-Mart.
Minding our business.
Minding our business.
Doing the best we can to support the U.S. economy by undercutting it with the purchase of super-discounted cheaply-produced, foreign-made goods crafted by the weary hands of child laborers who would have to save for 3 months to afford the $4 sweatpants and "Freedom isn't Free" beer koozie you just put in your cart.
Then, all of a sudden, someone's pukey little toddler starts in with the "whaaa-whaaa" business.
Fucking kid.
Exactly what's wrong with this country, you know?
If this was China, that little girl would be at work, contributing to society.
Oooooh, but not here. Nope. No way.
Here, hiding behind liberal "Child Labor Laws" (ie government-protected laziness) she's allowed to do what she wants, mooching off the system, crapping her pants and causing a ruckus at Wal-Mart whenever the hell she feels like it.
Something needs to be done.
Then, all of a sudden, someone's pukey little toddler starts in with the "whaaa-whaaa" business.
Fucking kid.
Exactly what's wrong with this country, you know?
If this was China, that little girl would be at work, contributing to society.
Oooooh, but not here. Nope. No way.
Here, hiding behind liberal "Child Labor Laws" (ie government-protected laziness) she's allowed to do what she wants, mooching off the system, crapping her pants and causing a ruckus at Wal-Mart whenever the hell she feels like it.
Something needs to be done.
So you go over to the child's mother and offer your assistance in getting the child to be quiet.
She refuses the offer.
Several moments later, in another aisle, you run into them again.
The kid still hasn't shut up.
At this point, your course of action is obvious, as it is anytime you encounter a stranger's fussy 2-year-old girl.
She refuses the offer.
Several moments later, in another aisle, you run into them again.
The kid still hasn't shut up.
At this point, your course of action is obvious, as it is anytime you encounter a stranger's fussy 2-year-old girl.
You grab that lil' motherfucker and slap her in the mush.
5 times.
In a row.
That'll learn ya', you stupid free-loading, cry-baby 2-year-old.
5 times.
In a row.
That'll learn ya', you stupid free-loading, cry-baby 2-year-old.
(Above) Roger Stephens looking exactly how you'd expect him to look.
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5 comments:
Well done, Roger! Do you freelance? Because I'll happily buy you movie tickets for the rest of your life provided you're willing to come with me and administer a little frontier justice unto the yappy fucks and/or squalling brats who can't get it through their self-obsessed skulls that I paid to HEAR the movie, too.
Hell, I'll even make it a real date and toss in dinner, provided you're willing to do the same for the precious, sticky little filth-encrusted crotch-droppings who climb all over the restaurant booths before their entrée even arrives, then spend the rest of the night running at full-speed in between the tables and making a noise that could shatter glass. And that goes triple for the asshole parents who let 'em get away with it.
Oh, wait...Blaine was being ironic. Um...yeah. Boo, Roger. You bad man. How dare you, or something.
(Seriously though, buddy. Big fan of your work. Call me.)
This is exactly the kind of thing that happens when Democrats get into power. I mean it's clearly the parent's responsibility to begin beating any child that has the audacity to cry as you drag them through the soul-sucking, crowded aisles of Wal-Mart. I say this after 8 years of successful parenting (which I define as never having Child Protection Services show up on my doorstep). This kind of thing never happened when Bush was in office.
I ask you, what other action could a reasonable man have taken? Just finish his shopping and go? This man clearly has a calendar of social commitments, who wouldn't want to spend time with a man who looks like your junior high gym teacher, only even more pissed off?
Roger clearly knows it takes a village to sufficiently beat any child. And now he's in jail. The next thing you now some major religious domination will ignore the teachings of Christ and start ordaining gay pastors (you know, the people Jesus hated…oh, wait that was Paul).
hahaha
askov,
that's blue ribbon-level commenting. well done.
The floodgates are open.
I'll be striking at least one child per walmart visit from here on out.
obbop?
hahaha
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