Thursday, October 22, 2009

Dude should've totally taken that Al-Qaeda internship.



On Wednesday, authorities arrested 27-year-old Tarek Mehanna at his momma's house in an upscale Boston suburb.

According to the AP story, it seems Tarek had been conspiring to kill two prominent U.S. politicians and carry out a holy war by attacking shoppers in U.S. malls and American troops in Iraq.

Tarek's plans to participate in "violent jihad against American interests" (as opposed to "cuddly jihad against American interests") were derailed when he and his two co-terrorists were unable to obtain the requisite automatic weapons (Really? Couldn't find an automatic weapon? This is America, duder. Just ask any 14-year-old and they'll have an AK for you by noon).

Additionally, the AP story reported, other factors colluded to extinguish their jihadist flame - including the inability to catch on with a respected terrorist organization.

In fact, one of Tarek's jihad buddies, a man by the name of Ahmad Abousamra, was turned down by the Taliban for lack of experience.

Well...shit, man. How's somebody supposed to get terrorism experience if nobody is willing to give him a shot at gaining said terrorism experience?

And why call the position "Entry Level Insurgent" on your monster.com listing if you need prior experience? Sheesh.

Any recent college grad can feel his pain.

2 comments:

Merton Sussex said...

The reason most reputable terrorism organizations don't have higher recruitment numbers is that they don't consider most applicants "experienced" until they've carried out at least one successful suicide bombing.

As you can well imagine, this limits their talent pools somewhat.

Frank White said...

"Well you're still alive, which means you probably haven't blown yourself up, so I'm afraid we're going to have to give the position to another candidate. We'll keep you resume on file."