Election 2008: Oh, WTF...now look at THIS shit.

By Allistair Beaumont Chedley-Whythe III, Syndicated Incredulous Observer of Crumbling Societies 

John McCain's "ineptitude express" (to be pronounced 'campaign') rolled through what can only be marked as WTF country recently, as an already weird political season ramped up for the big push into the twilight zone.

Everyone has seen the McCain add likening Obama to a celebrity intelligence vacuum. If not, here it is:

As you see, the particular vacuums he is equated with are P. Hilton and B. Spears. Not wanting to beat a dead horse, but the implication is clear; Obama is a cleanly packaged, media loved, mass marketed, celebrity that is more image than substance. Anyone with that much celebrity cannot be taken seriously in the political arena.

Strange twist number one: The Hilton family gave to the McCain campaign to the tune of $4,800, the biggest single donor contribution allowable under current campaign finance laws. This is only strange because before I insinuate their daughters' idiocy on national television, I usually don't take the family for damn near 5 grand, and I didn't see a move with that much style coming from the McCain camp. Kudos to the McCain camp

Strange twist number two: Most of us have seen the retort that P. Hilton posted on "funny or die" that announces her candidacy and pokes fun at John McCain's age. Further on in the add P. Hilton actually reads off a cue card an energy plan that is pretty concise and rather astute. (By the way I almost got hard at this point in the ad but then I remembered that she was just reading someone else's words off a card and actually has all the synaptic lightning of the static cling of my left trouser leg.)

This is strange because I didn't really think she was going to retort, and if she did, I don't think that anyone could have expected it to be this effective. So kudos to the Hilton camp.

Strange twist number three: After viewing the retort from the Hilton camp, the McCain camp actually issued a statement! First of all, you can’t respond McCain. You never respond to someone who has nothing to lose. Worse yet any response is a losing proposition. If he claims that she has a weak understanding of the issues, well of course she does, she’s Paris fucking Hilton! If he says she has a good understanding of the issues, well the operating premise of the whole ad campaign was that P. Hilton and other celebrities are unfit to lead - so are they or aren’t they. Does his camp really think this is something that will get him anywhere? Or is it their futile attempt to grab at anything that might not be getting in the AARP newsletter? I shit you not, this is the actual statement as taken from the Huffington Post:

McCain's spokesman has responded to Paris' new video:
Sounds like Paris is taking the 'All of the Above' energy approach that John McCain has advocated -- both alternatives and drilling. Perhaps the reality is that Paris has a more substantive energy plan than Barack Obama.

So what is he saying?
Possibility 1:
“We should be running against P. Hilton as she has a more substantive energy policy?” Of course you wish we were running against her, she’s Paris fucking Hilton.

Possibility 2:
“Paris is still an idiot, but even an idiot can come up with a better energy plan than Obama.” So if you purport to have a better energy plan than Obama, that is not much of a victory because you are still a mouth-breathing idiot like Hilton.

Possibility 3:
“Looks like we’ll have to widen the potential VP pool to include this Hilton broad.”
Normally this would be out of the realm of possibility, but the way those geniuses are running a good candidate into the ground, I have to wonder…. WTF.