Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Your Headlines for January 20, 2009

Breaking:
Facebook Temporarily Unavailable, Panic Strikes as Mundane Status of Millions of Casual Acquaintances Remains Unknown for Several Hours


Workplace:
Office Coffee Creamer Contains No Dairy, Pretty Much Everything Else
Corn syrup solids, hydrogenated motor oil, Owens Corning® fiberglass insulation, ashen remains of Jimmy Hoffa top ingredient list

Gossip:
Amy Winehouse to Divorce
Gentlemen, take a number… she's ON the market again! Hello? Fellas?

3 comments:

Static said...

Ha ha! This was an awesome article. I mean, who is that concerned about any of the above?

Facebook, non-dairy creamer and Amy Winehouse all give me the shits, that's what they have in common.

blaine_fridley said...

ha! well played, static… "the shits" was indeed the one common thread. winner, winner chicken dinner.

Anonymous said...

Her teeth are looking fabulous! She is a mo effin' catch! Snatch her up fellas! Make sure you bring tons of band aids in case the track marks on her arms begin to ooze.