From the Diary of a (Kinda) Mad (Half) Black Man: Chia Obama?!?!

Traditionally, April showers have been known to bring the same ole’ May flowers. But now, thanks to Joseph Enterprises, creators of the ever-popular and amusing ‘Chia’ line, April showers will now stimulate the growth of your very own presidential afro. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you – Chia Obama! Available in both “Determined” and “Happy” this botanic bust of the 44th President of U.S. of A. is available nationwide and can be found in between the terra cotta likenesses of such luminaries as Elmer Fudd and Kung-Fu Panda. Or perhaps he will be alongside Garfield, Shrek, and Bart Simpson. Maybe Scooby-Doo and Shrek? Starting to see a trend here? Not limited to cartoons, Chia creations also come in the form of animals, trees, even an alarm clock. At this point it hardly seems like an honor for our President to be chosen for a Chia portrayal. Actually starts to become a bit of an insult.

In fact, the only other human being who has ever been Chia-ized is the venerable Mr. T. No disrespect to Mr. Lawrence Tureaud, the man who introduced 'jibba-jabba' to American lexicon, but even he would admit he is hardly of the same distinction as President Obama. Factoring in his appearances in the first two Wrestlemanias, his 1-800-Collect commercials, and his most famous roles as B.A. Baracus and Clubber Lang, the guy was practically born for clay immortality. For Chrissake he was an actual cartoon at one point!

So why choose these two iconic figures above all others? I took the liberty of noting the similarities between the ‘T’ man and our fair President.

1. Some level of African descent.
2. Ability to grow an afro.

…

Not exactly the strictest of criteria, huh? Now I get that Obama is one of the most marketable beings on the planet right now. But I find it hard to believe that a Dubya Chia wouldn’t have sold just as well. Or Albert Einstein and Jerry Garcia for that matter. Maybe a fro of foliage just seems more amusing atop a re-creation of a Black likeness. I might just be missing the point, but I am not amused. And since Walgreen's has pulled Chia Obama from its shelves, I imagine I’m far from alone.

Cartoons, animals, and black people. Sounds like the cast of a 40’s era Warner Bros. cartoon. But this is 2009 and I expect more. Even from a Chia pet, dammit!