Today in Celebrity News

19-Year-Old Jamie Waylett, Star of "Harry Potter" Films, Busted for Doing a Little Too Well in Professor Sprout's Herbology Class

Looks like one of the school bullies from the "Harry Potter" movies read a bit ahead in the textbook. Police in the UK say the 19-year-old actor was keeping a sophisticated hydroponic weed garden in his home, complete with multiple grow lights.

The teen was arrested in London on Thursday after cops say they found 8 bags of weed in a car Jamie and another man were in.

Later that day, cops apparently raided Jamie's home, where officials say they found a bunch of plants "believed to be cannabis plants and equipment for the cultivation of plants."

And yeah, your "Crabbe Grass" joke was played out about three hours before you thought of it.

MAD munchies, yo.

Award-Winning Indian Actor Finally "Makes It" by Getting An Offer To Play a Possible Terrorist on "24"

Slumdog Millionare's Anil Kapoor is adding another role to his impressive credentials. The actor is joining the cast of Fox's "24" next season.

Kapoor, who starred as the game show host in the Oscar-winner for Best Picture, will play a Middle Eastern leader who comes to the U.S. on a peacemaking mission. Producers were apparently made aware that he was Indian, not Arab, and Hindu rather than Muslim well before the offer was made, but couldn't be bothered to give enough of a shit to care. "Whatever. He's sorta brownish, so he'll be fine," said one fat pink dickhead in a $2,000 suit.

Anil Kapoor: Swarthy

Kapoor, who is a major star in his native India, has over 100 Bollywood films on his résumé, and has won countless awards for his silver-screen work abroad. Nevertheless, millions of Americans will be seeing him for the first time as he plays fifth fiddle to a guy who has spent seven seasons saying "dammit!" while looking constipated, and who absent-mindedly calls him "Anal" off-set.

"I'm positively thrilled for this opportunity to reach a Western audience," said Kapoor in crisp, perfect English, one of four languages in which he is fluent. "Thank you for welcoming me into your homes. I look forward to working with the entire cast and crew of '24.'"

Early script outlines call for his character to die in a suicide bombing while emitting an ululating shriek after 5-7 episodes.

Kal Penn leaves Fox series "House" to go to work for White House P.R. Department

Actor Kal Penn, 31, has accepted a position as an Associate Director for the Obama administration's Office of Public Liaison. He's not retiring from acting, just pursuing a longtime desire for public service that was rekindled when he campaigned for Barack Obama's election. His focus will be as a liaison for the arts community and the Asian-American community, he said. He filled a similar role in the Obama presidential campaign.

"Sssh! Don't tell anyone, but I'm really an undercover NORML lobbyist!"

Penn (who, like Kapoor, is of Indian descent) also played a terrorist on Fox's "24" before joining the network's "House" two years ago. He's also known as the fun-seeking Kumar Patel in the "Harold & Kumar" movie series, and as the hedonostic Taj Mahal Badalandabad in "National Lampoon's Van Wilder."

At least one right-wing pundit is unhappy about Penn's career change, however.

"So, let me get this straight...An ACTOR of MIDDLE EASTERN DESCENT has been offered a job in the White House?" said conservative pundit Sean Hannity of Fox News. "An actor who is best known for playing an accused terrorist and Guantanamo Bay escapee who breaks into a fictional Camp David while a President Bush impostor is in residence, and offers him marijuana? Oh, yeah...I've got PLENTY to say about THAT. Has Barack HUSSEIN Obama lost his secret Muslim mind?!?"

Added Hannity: "I just wish we could return to the glory days of President Ronald Reagan's administration. There's no WAY he would've put up with nonsense like an actor being anywhere NEAR the Oval Office!"

When informed that Penn is also a close friend to openly-gay "How I Met Your Mother" star Neil Patrick Harris, who starred with Penn in the "Harold & Kumar" films, Hannity sputtered like an overheating push mower for a few seconds, and then his head exploded.