My driver's license lists my date of birth as November 13, 1979. I disagree.
Fact is, I didn't start truly living until the day I discovered Nutella. I look back at all those wasted pre-Nutella years with nothing but contempt, disdain and utter disappointment.
This was not living.
Seriously, if for some reason a news report comes out tomorrow stating that Nutella is actually re-packaged Soylent Green, I don't think I'd be able to stop eating it as quickly as I morally should.
I would then find the reporter who broke the story, ask them what it was in life that they truly loved, find that thing and destroy it.
I love you Nutella.
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8 comments:
Nutella people came to St. Cloud State in 2002, trying to canvas young (see also: hungover) go-getters how to market to people our age.
I had never heard of the european delight before then.
I tried it.
Looked at the waifish marketing rep and plainly said "I love the free samples, but if you're telling me this shit is hard to sell than apparently you couldn't sell bamboo to a panda."
*i didn't say that, I probably just spat all over with my mouth full of food, but it neatly illustrates how fucking delicious it is.
You are officially obsessed with Nutella. What would happen if I threw the brand new jar out?
Nutella isn't Soylent Green. Not exactly. Soylent Green is people. Nutella is just...certain...PARTS of people.
It's a little-known fact that "Nutella" was just one of the names in the running. They came this close to going with with "Gonaddo" or "Testeri." However, "Spreada-Balls" got laughed right out of the marketing meeting.
Spreada-balls. We have a winner with Spreada-balls.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v27/Tajmccall/spreadaballs.png
its a terrible photoshop job, but whatever.
Reno,
Actually I think it would be quite hard to sell bamboo to a panda. I mean it grows all around their natural habitat. You'd have to grow some really high-end, hydroponic shit and then market the hell out of it. You just can't make a profit doing that.
Askov
Um...Are you SURE? 'Cause the one guy on my block who's into high-quality hydroponics seems to be doing just fine on just word-of-mouth. Bitchin' Trans-Am and everything.
katherine:
now you're just trying to be hurtful.
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