Champion of Society

Naming Your Kids Dumb Shit

There is an infinite list of crap that you can do to screw up your kid’s life, most of which you have no control over. However, naming your kid is something you do have control over. So before naming your kid you should consider all the possibilities and then consider the name contenders default nickname’s a.k.a shit your kid could be tormented with.



I never really got why people would name their kid Richard, it’s too easy. As soon as kids are old enough to realize what dick means, you know they’ll be using it against the poor schmuck named Richard. Kids will use anything they can think of against a name, literally. Take the name Mary, it’s a very common name, no one could be made fun of for that. Wrong. As each generation gets older, let’s just say they “mature” a lot faster than you would think. Thought nothing was wrong with Mary, well here’s a little ditty I once heard “Mary, Mary, quite contrary, well the hell is your p*ssy so goddamn hairy?” It is that simple people.


So think long and hard people before you go naming your kid because not only will they have to suffer with it until they can legally change it, but they will resent you even more than they already probably will. Take this dude for example, Mark Ciptak of Tennessee and his wife had already chosen on a nice name for their baby girl, Ava Grace. Apparently that didn’t suit Mr. Ciptak, because after their little bundle of joy was born he decided to name his daughter Sarah McCain Palin.


Mr. Ciptak is quoted as saying “I took one for the cause . . . I can’t give a lot of financial support for the campaign. I do have a sign up in my yard, but I can do very little.” In addition to naming his kid after douche number 1 and douche number 2, it seems as if he never even discussed this with his wife because she still doesn’t believe him. If Mr. Ciptak wanted to name his kid after a terrible political leader, he should have named it Richard Nixon; two birds, one stone, if only it was a boy.

http://www.tricities.com/tri/news/local/article/elizabethton_baby_named_sarah_mccain_palin/14996/