Thomas Edison once said "Many of life's failures are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."Let us hope the inventor of Winkers™ is not familiar with that quote:
Woweee!
In case you were wondering, here's how much winkers cost (not kidding):
The Eyes ......................... $149.00
The Ducks ....................... $159.00
The Clap Boards ........... $249.00
The Owl is .........................$269.00
Lion in the Jungle.............$569.00
Get more info at winkersdesign.com! or don't. seriously, don't.
If the mere concept of Winkers™ doesn't hook prospective investors, that undeniably impressive VHS production sure as hell will… hopefully nobody wanted to watch that Night Court episode you taped over.
Special thanks to Wee Willie McGee for the vid.
UPDATE FROM BARRY METROPOLIS:
In case you were wondering, here's how much winkers cost (not kidding):
The Eyes ......................... $149.00
The Ducks ....................... $159.00
The Clap Boards ........... $249.00
The Owl is .........................$269.00
Lion in the Jungle.............$569.00
Get more info at winkersdesign.com! or don't. seriously, don't.
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10 comments:
Where to start.
A) Your contact information is ridiculously hard to read.
B) Your contact email is bill_023336@yahoo.com? Really? Bill, you realize its free. You can probably get winkers@yahoo.com, or BuyWinkers@yahoo.com. God forbid you get a website with POP mail.
C) The video production. Sure its the easy route to go the Trenton Public Library and rent the 1987 SORNY brand VHS recorder, but your production quality may suffer. -3 points for NOT having 1/1/87 blinking in the lower right hand corner
D) The concept itself. You're attempting to appeal to the crowd that used to have Beanie Baby sales and eat Taco in a Bags. Usually these people tend not to want to draw attention to their ass with a duck heads and the base of their fat vat.
But beyond that, WONDERFUL stuff.
Dude at the 2:20 mark looks like he shat an owl.
Holy SHIT. I seriously do NOT want to live in a universe where this is a real idea, much less an actual, physical thing. That someone is trying to sell. For five hundred goddamned dollars.
To begin with, the "art" looks like it was cribbed off of the space next to the teardrop window on the neighborhood molester-van. Second, if you have sufficient booty-pudge to achieve the "desired effect," chances are, you should not be wearing a garment that draws such an abundance of attention to your posterior.
Third, and perhaps most important, you'd think that once he got to the "prototype" stage of the concept, he'd have realized that the undulation of the appliqué conveys much less "winking," and much more, "you are witnessing a piece of guerrilla street-performance art wherein I ask bystanders to contemplate what it might look like were it possible for my rear end to suffer the sort of debilitating cerebral hemorrhage you never fully recover from. I call it, 'Stroke: My Ass.' Hope you like it. Tell your friends."
And as long as I'm on the subject, I understand that a picture is worth a thousand words (and in this case, at least 850 of them are ones ol' Bill probably wouldn't want to hear), but that'
s all the more reason why you should spend some of your ill-gotten trouser funds on a skilled-but-soulless copywriter and/or voice-over artist to narrate his sad display. I'm thinking something along the lines of: "Now, you can turn your wardrobe into kinetic art! Attention-getting Winkers™ send a fun, friendly, and whimsical greeting to anyone and everyone lucky enough to follow you while you march to the beat of your own drummer! Just LOOK at these inventive designs!" As it is nature abhors a vacuum, and in the absence of knowing just what the hell he was trying to GET at with these, one is simply left with, "why in the hell would anyone want to consign themselves to having a goddamn goose nibble their fucking ass-cheeks all day?"
They forgot to include "Note: In order to achieve optimal "winkiness," Winkers should be worn by 16- to 34-year-old women between 15 and 30 pounds overweight. Enter your height, weight, and age below to check out your WINKI-factor!"
Zee goggles! Zey do nothing!!!!
Need to see a pair with a W on each cheek. Or an M.
That's just all we need. We're walking down the street and someone walks by wearing one of these things. We can't help but notice the bright flashy eyes or other artwork but then soon realize that it's attached to someone's BIG FAT ASS!!! This has EPIC FAIL written all over it! The only thing good about them is having a good laugh at the people who were dumb enough to spend that much money on a pair of jeans!
"All are signed and dated as works of art." Classic
requirement - must be over 250 lbs
one of the best things ive ever seen. -Bigfoot
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