Diary of Fools Newswire

Dead horse found beaten beyond recognition; media suspected

1st Annual Diary of Fools "That's Web-tastic!" Award

There are times when surfing the Internet that you stumble across a website that reminds you of just how incredible the Internet can be. A website obviously devoted to breaking barriers, to stretching the limits of what we previously thought could be done with this amazing technology. And it is for those websites that the Diary of Fools created the "That's Web-tastic!" Award, to be given annually to the website that rocks the cyber community to its very core and changes the possibilities of where people thought the Internet could take humanity.

With that in mind, it is a great pleasure to give the first annual Diary of Fools "That's Web-tastic!" Award to: http://www.centex.net/~elliott/unicorn.html. One click and I think - nay - I KNOW you will agree.

Never, and I mean NEVER, has unicorn art and the Casio keyboard come together as divinely as they do on this page.

Opinions are like A-holes...

...everybody has one, and just like A-holes, most are just a conduit for passing large steaming piles of turd. Like this unbelievable review I stumbled upon of a Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode by a brilliant Netflix user, for instance (for those not familiar with the MST3000 premise, please school yourself here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Science_Theater_3000 ahhh, Wikipedia. The "Sex Panther" of online reference tools. "60% of the time, it's right every time").

The review reads like this:

"I would have loved the movie if it wasn't for that Joel (or was it Mike?)Hodgson and friends. Their comments during the movie - making it impossibleto hear the movie itself! - ruined the movie!! I had seen this movie yearsago and wanted to see it again because I had really liked it then. But, withthese MST3000 people talking all through the movie, you couldn't hear athing that was actually going on in the movie. All you could hear was theMST people! Very disappointing for me! To make things worse, none of theircomments were funny - with the exception of one single place in the movie!Stupid, yes, but not funny. I'll never order anything else that has MSTattached to it. My husband feels the same way. I would like to make acomment about another review for this movie I read. A Norma Jennings said,and I quote, "er dirty dad er, or is it boyfriend (its the backwoods -what's the diff?", end quote. I take exception to that remark. I am from thebackwoods, and there is a heck of a lot of difference! Anyway, the movie wasa waste of time because of the MST people, therefore I have to rate it withjust one star, "hated it". If I could get it without these MST people, oranyone else, making comments about it all through the movie, I would." http://www.netflix.com/StrangerReviews?prid=561649078&lnkctr=MDP2RL

If only the technology existed for me to reply to this reviewer by sending her a swarm of ill-tempered bees via broadband. Didn't like MST3000 because she "couldn't hear over all the remarks"?! WTF, lady!

That's like writing a review that says "Yeah, I really would've enjoyed Showgirls if only the razor-sharp dialogue wasn't constantly interrupted by all that gratuitous nudity."

That's all I have to say about that.

Yours Truly,
Blaine Fridley

Snapshots by Blaine Fridley

(Click to enlarge)

Happy National Hangover Day!