From the Diary of (Very) Mad (Half) Black Man: Fuck You Keith Bardwell

Yes, fuck you Keith Bardwell. You simple-minded, backwoods jackhole of a human being. For those unfamiliar with Mr. Bardwell, he is a Louisiana justice of the peace who lovingly performs wedding ceremonies for the couples of Tangipahoa Parish - unless they're interracial.

Bardwell asserts that he is not a racist, citing the "facts" that interracial marriages do not typically last and that the children of these unions are not accepted by society. Oh yea, he also has "piles and piles of black friends." Yea, I've never heard that one before.

But in truth, I must say I agree with Bardwell. Interracial marriages do not typically last long and their children do have difficulty being accepted by society. However, in the U.S. of A. of 2009 most marriages of any race or combination do not last long. I cite declining morals and the media's proliferation of unrealisitc expectations of the blessed sacrament, you blame skin color. Po-tey-toh, Po-tah-toh eh? And if we learned nothing else from the late John Hughes it's that all children are going to feel rejected by society. Rent the Breakfast Club, it's all right there with nary a mulatto in sight. If you need to borrow a VCR just let us know, we'll bring one right over.

So,Keith Bardwell,take your can of Spam, milk carton of corn liquor and your 50's era social opinions and get back in your trailer. And please do shut up, if only for the sake of the children.

Confessions in Race Relations by Knarf Black XIV, as told to Blaine Fridley

"In 3rd grade we had one black kid who hung out with us, and every time we played Ghostbusters we always made him be Winston. Partially because it took one person out of the running for the constant battle over who got to be Egon, but mostly because he was black."