Freddie Mercury: Gone. Janis Joplin: Gone. Kurt Cobain: Gone. Duane Allman, Jimi Hendrix, Keith Moon, Jim Morrison, Jim Croce, Jerry Garcia, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Frank Zappa, Joey, Johnny, AND Dee Dee Ramone all GONE GONE GONE.
But this lip-synching, pro-toolsed, talent-free, child-neglecting, drug-and-booze hoovering, ugly as sin car-wrecking fucking pile-of-shit fleshbag still strides the earth, poisoning ears and airwaves alike with her special brand of over-produced, turd-polished, adolescently plastic squeanky-nail-getting-pulled-out-of-a-board BULLSHIT.
Some people are only alive because it is against the law to kill them.
"These cock suckers should really be executed." -Fred Phelps, Super Nice Dude Fuckstick, Kansas
"Everything that's wrong with today's 20-somethings."
- Some Asshole Blogger Minneapolis, MN
"...See? This is what I'm talking about. It's shit like this that makes people doubt my existence in the first place. Well, that and the fact that Mario Lopez keeps getting work somehow."
- God, Alleged Creator of the Universe
Hoboken, NJ
"I think it's neat how a group of retards can run their own website. A nice little story."
-Debra Goosingbunz, Social Worker Sandusky, OH
"Seriously, if I catch you people going through my garbage again, I'm getting a fucking restraining order." -Bootsy Collins, Funk Bassist, Cincinnati, OH
"OH MY GOD OHMYGOD IT BURNS HOLY FUCK IT BURNS GET IT OFF GETITOFF OH SHIT IT HURTS SO MUCH OHMYGAAAAARRRGH AAAAHHH!" -Some Guy Who's on Fire, Burning Man Festival, Black Rock Desert, Northern NV
"I thought this blog might be kinda funny at first, but it's nothing but name calling....a veritable thesaurus of insults." -Anna Nimity, Internet Spectre, Cyberspace
"You're a shitty writer and this site sucks dick." -Mr. Meh, Cracked.com reader, and apparent dick-sucking authority
Worldwide Love for the DoF (The DoF on the Interweb)
2 comments:
As long as I live, I'll never understand it.
Freddie Mercury: Gone.
Janis Joplin: Gone.
Kurt Cobain: Gone.
Duane Allman, Jimi Hendrix, Keith Moon, Jim Morrison, Jim Croce, Jerry Garcia, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Frank Zappa, Joey, Johnny, AND Dee Dee Ramone all GONE GONE GONE.
But this lip-synching, pro-toolsed, talent-free, child-neglecting, drug-and-booze hoovering, ugly as sin car-wrecking fucking pile-of-shit fleshbag still strides the earth, poisoning ears and airwaves alike with her special brand of over-produced, turd-polished, adolescently plastic squeanky-nail-getting-pulled-out-of-a-board BULLSHIT.
Some people are only alive because it is against the law to kill them.
I don't know who that is.
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