Did I Eat That? - KFC Double Down

Roughly 8 months ago I, along with many of you came across this gem. However, unlike most of you, I was positively ecstatic about the prospect of one day treating myself to a small pile of fried chicken covered in corn syrup-based koala semen substitute. The way I see it, if, in his infallibly infinite and all-knowing wisdom, Colonel Sanders has decided my life should end in a salty, greasy, fat clogged stroked out blaze of glory then who am I to argue with him?

So I bided my time, waiting for KFC to finally turn this sickeningly scrumptious snack concept into tummy-turning reality. And then it was here, April 12, 2010. With a combination of impatience and shame shooting through my veins I sped through the KFC drive-thru, flinging my crumpled up tender at the poor schmuck at the window while simultaneously snatching my goody bag from his grasp. Once safely back home I tore through the paper bag which sported the likeness of the Colonel, his eternal grin mocking me in my helpless state. The smell of fried poultry hit my nostrils as my fingertips locked in on the greasy masterpiece which was now at my mercy. I took a bite. And what a bite it was! My tongue was besieged by the combination of salt, grease, spices, and animal fat. It was almost too much to process, each individual component losing itself in the entirety of the Double Down experience. There was just the right amount of Swiss cheese, the proper dosage of special sauce, and a perfect strip of bacon. In short, I was impressed.


Result: Despite my trepidation that I would feel dirty and ill after consuming this abomination of all things sandwich, I actually walked away from the feeding grounds relatively sated and none the worse for wear. It turns out this little puppy has more bark than bite. But kudos to you Colonel, due to a successful combination of an impressive array of flavors your beast is indeed a beauty. The Double Down receives 3.75 Golden Tongues out of a possible 5 Golden Tongues. It's a shame I can't give it more but, surprisingly, it just wasn't revolting enough to make a significant impression on my digestive tract.

Did I Eat That? - Kool-Aid Pickle Edition

As you may know, I consider myself a connoisseur of all foods obscure and odd. So when I accidentally came across a website mentioning Kool-Aid pickles I knew had to make a batch and try them out for myself. It easily satisfied three of the twenty "Did I Eat That?" criteria - Criteria #3 At first glance this food item immediately disturbs notions previously created by my taste buds, Criteria #7 Food item is Southern in origin, and last but not least Criteria #15 Food item combines two separately delightful flavors in a way I would never have imagined on my own.

So one doubly potent batch of Tropical Punch Kool-Aid and one container of B&G New York Style Deli Pickles combination (and roughly two weeks) later there I was, staring down the crimson cuke. And then, a few bites later, it was all gone. What happened in between was a sweet, sour, salty, spicy, fruity experience that pregnant woman all over the country would be sending their husbands to K-Mart for. I must admit, though I was excited to try this creation, I didn't think I'd actually like them. But gosh darnit I do and I'm not entirely sure why. I don't think my tongue would actively seek out this treat on its' own, once I crammed the punched-up pickle in my mouth it begrudgingly accepted and then totally caved and gave into complete enjoyment.

Result:
The Kool-Aid pickle gets a solid 3 Tongues Out of a possible 5 tongues. I don't think I'd go out of my way eat this again, but they were a treat worth trying.