Your Headlines for January 7, 2009

From the DoF Newswire:



Breaking

Peace at Last! Palestinian-backed David Lee Roth Supporters and Israeli Sammy Haggar Backers "Agree to Disagree" on the One True Leader of Van Halen

Prime Minister Olmert: "Diamond Dave's jump-kicks are undeniably awesome.
Hamas Leader Moussa Abou Marzouk: "OK, OK… so "5150" ain't too fuckin' bad."

Health and Beauty

5 Tips for Soft and Manageable Hair with George Stephanopoulos
plus:
Anne Coulter's Home Remedy for Vaginal Odor

Obituary

Minnesota Timberwolves' 2008-09 Season Dies Young