The Intellectual Scrapheap: Not-So-Deep Thoughts from the Mind of Blaine Fridley

Blaine Fridley, Editor-in-Chief

This is how is how I feel inside when thinking about the economy:

Only, at the bottom of this roller coaster, I'm squatting at a Motel 6 and crossing my fingers for a call back from Arby's. Please make it all better, Mr. Obama.

DoF Newswire: Obama's First Presidential Press Conference

Obama to America: "Smoke it if you got it…"

"…'cuz our shit's all jacked up"

• Bailout package to include funds for something called "National Daily Puppy Dog Hour." And ice cream. Lots and lots of ice cream.

• Public works initiative set to convert mansions of top executives of government assisted banks into free municipal water parks.

• General Motors modifies all assembly plants for Ramen Noodle production.