Stoner Confucius Says...

"I am not concerned that I have no place, I am concerned how I may fit myself for one. I am not concerned that I am not known, I seek to be worthy to be known. I am not concerned that I am out of bud, but I am kinda pissed that I can't remember my dealer's number."

Stoner Confucius says...

Learn as though you would never be able to master it; Hold it as though you would be in fear of losing it; smoke as though the cops are going to bust in at any second and totally harsh your buzz.

Stoner Confucius Says...

"Great water can continuously move forward without stopping. It is so kind as to irrigate the lands everywhere it goes, yet it does not regard itself as having performed outstanding feats. And yet, the water in my bong has performed the feat of cooling even this harsh ditch-weed to a smokable temperature. Glory be!"

Stoner Confucius Says...

"If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, you better have a shitload of replacement grow lights in your closet, because those fuckers love to burn out."

Stoner Confucius Says…

"… to be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it… and, like, I got just the thing for that, man…"

Stoner Confucius Says...

"The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large. So spark it, kick back, and chill - You're making the world a better place when you do, man."

Stoner Confucius Says...

"He who learns but does not think is lost. He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger. And he who consistently bums but does not buy will be skipped on the next pass. Hey, man, take it up with Jerry. I don't MAKE the rules, yo."

Stoner Confucius Says…

"Managing your success begins with managing other's expectations.

Managing to have nothing expected of you through total sedation of mind, body and motivation turns your every trivial act into a highly-acclaimed success.

A less enlightened mind may see this as laziness.

I call it a liberating purge of toxic expectations.

And that, to answer your question, is why I'm not wearing any pants… Could I still get that 6-pc. McNugget anyway?"

Stoner Confucius says...

"To live by the rule of "everything in moderation" is to rob one's self of the sheer awesomeness of excess. For instance, 1 peaunut butter cup is good. But a bag of peaunut butter cups in the deep fryer? That shit right there, son? That shit right there? ah-MAZING."

Stoner Confucius Says...

"The man who in view of gain thinks of righteousness; who in the view of danger is prepared to give up his life; and who does not forget an old agreement however far back it extends - such a man may be reckoned a complete man. It is especially in the spirit of this last, most essential point that I remind you about how you totally said last time that you'd buy this time."

Stoner Confucius says...

"To be able under all circumstances to practice five things constitutes perfect virtue; these five things are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and...um...I'm drawing a blank, dude...but it's probably like 'sharing' or something. So pass it, for fuck's sake."

Stoner Confucius says...

"I hear, and I forget. I see, and I remember. I do, and I understand. I smoke, and I totally have to grab more Chee-tos the next time I hit the 7-11."

Stoner Confucius Says…

"Those who put off until tomorrow what can be done today, like, you know, probably have a really comfortable couch, man."