Famous Last Words

In "The Dark Knight," Heath Ledger's Joker famously said, "In their last moments, people show you who they really are." Which is rather deeply ironic when you think about it, being as he was technically dead by the time anyone realized he'd said it.

In part three of our ongoing series (click for parts one and two), the Diary of Fools brings you the last words of famous people who are also very dead.

"For chrissakes...PLEASE don't let Colin Quinn sing at my service." - Ken Ober

"Oh, go to hell. I'm not gonna say it." - Paul Harvey

"Just remember...if that Kutcher douche tries to have a séance so I can ironically haunt his wife? You promised me you'd shoot him." - Patrick Swayze

"...'Just in case' my ass. If I wake up in a casket ONE MORE TIME, one of YOU will get to use it first." - Andy Rooney

"For the LAST TIME: I do NOT have a penis. And if I'm lying, may god strike me dead." - Bea Arthur

"Have you seen this? Have you heard about this?" - Jay Leno's Career