Tech-
AOL announces it still exists, despite nobody using it since 2003.
Religion-
Pope asks priests to be more 'web savvy,' then winks and and nods before overheard muttering "you know what i'm talkin about, fellas."
Sports-
Serena Williams announced as Tennis's 2009 Man of the Year
Television-
Conan O'Brien wakes up at 11am, shits, goes back to bed. Makes $340,000.
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