Diary of Fools Recommends: Someecards.com

By Reno Gruber, solicitor of other websites


If any of you fucking champions of society are like ol Reno, you need a sun-dial, four email alerts , a few cellphone reminders and the threat of water torture to remember important peoples birth dates, not to mention something witty and sharp to send. Its not that you don't love them, its just that you know...your (read: my,) life of solitude and (my) bathroom mirror porn are extremely time consuming endeavors.

Well, Someecards isn't some magical robot that is going to remind you when your mother's birthday is; no the threatening notes you write to yourself to remember will still be needed. However, they will quickly subdue the beast that is the demand for good material. Its not your subversive "Happy Birthday, Fag." Although they should consider that, because its hilarious. No, its far more...yelp...irreverent then that. (I hate using such a topical-bin word, but it fits.) Its honest and its random, its hilarious.Whether its congratulating your Jewish brethren on hurrying through Seder, or just reinforcing to your gay friends that no amount of cock can pass through the inner walls of his nubile anus to make you not love him (no, not in that way Charlie.)

The braintrust over there have cooked up the funniest shit you can fit on an electronic 3x5 notecard, and makes us drab douchebags appear witty when we send our sisters a week-late email.


The classic "Sorry Emily, Missed your birthday again- thanks for always sending me money for mine...well here's a free email card i found. See ya at Christmas!"Is now dressed up with something that actually will make them laugh.

It won't make you into a good brother/sister/boyfriend/cat owner, but the cards will make your recipient laugh momentarily between bitter thoughts of why they still consider you family.

Some of the off-topic gems below.