Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Your Morning Headlines for April 23rd, 2008

From the Diary of Fools Newswire:

Hipster turns out to be just some guy with genuinely bad taste
Wears Styx t-shirt with no irony, earnestly enjoys taste of PBR


Gang violence task force reports "good news, bad news"
Bad news: Deaths from automatic assault weapons continue to rise
Good news: Choreographed dance fighting at an all-time low


Leonardo DiCaprio signs on to reprise role as "Luke" in Growing Pains: The Movie

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

mmmm...PBR

Lucy Parker said...

i enjoy choreographed dance fighting

Reno Gruber said...

Jets...Jets...Jets...Jets...

Merton Sussex said...

Wasn't Leonardo DiCaprio the retard kid in that one Johnny Depp movie?

I always like to see 'tards get work. Hell, let 'em act. Put 'em in the circus and let people throw produce at 'em. Whatever. It keeps 'em from clogging up storm drains by the dozen, or wandering around in sunburned, confused, half-naked packs asking for gum from random passersby and smearing their own shit all over everything.

Don't get me wrong...I'd rather see 'em in the salt mines where they belong, but we're supposed to pretend they have RIGHTS now.

blaine_fridley said...

wow, merton. i see your handbasket is taking the express route...