Wednesday, October 01, 2008

It's the DoF Champions of Society!


Believing as we do in highlighting inspiring stories that exemplify the courage of the inimitable human spirit, your friends at the DoF will often strive to do our best to bring you tales of triumph. Of courage. Of the power to overcome adversity. But most of all, to bring you stories of the people who embody these virtues.

Ordinary, everyday people just like you and, well, another one of you, who have truly stood up tall to life's challenges, and said, "I can." People who beat the odds, rise above their circumstances, and prove to one and all that there is no fire as strong as the one that burns in all of us. And when we find these stories, they'll be proudly told under the banner of "Diary of Fools: Champions of Society." Because that is so totally what they are. Oh, my GOD, you have no idea.

This week's co-champions are (Michael Scott drumroll)

…this lady:


And this reminder of why the Electoral College was created in the first place:


And what the fuck is this trashy trio deluxe riding on? It appears to be a gas-powered llama of some sort…

Vomit. Weep. Repeat.

5 comments:

Merton Sussex said...

Okay, that first gal has a mug shot that's udderly mooving. Sounds like she's got a legitimate beef with whoever decided to steer her wrong. She could've used a little bovine intervention. HAHA COW LOL.

But the funny stops dead when I watch the second video. I'm not just shocked, I'm legitimately INCENSED that there are actually living, breathing sub-mongoloids out there in the muck-filled swamps of Mason-Dixon purgatory who are ignorant to such a staggering, jaw-dropping degree as this. The fact that these dentally-impaired, moonshine-swilling hick fucks are actually out there breathing my air as thought they have just as much of a right to it as the higher life-forms who keep their welfare-sucking crotch-droppings in Pampers and Similac? This helps me sympathize with the mindset (if not the actions) of those poor, crushed souls who tote automatic weaponry into fast-food emporiums and open fire at random.

Honestly...How do carbon-based lifeforms that fucking ludicrously INBRED even possess basic enough motor skills sufficient to the task of dressing themselves, much less operating a video camera?

Out of the gene pool and off my planet NOW, you goat-fucking "Deliverance" refugees.

BAD hayseed. No votie. NO VOTIE.

Anonymous said...

(Shudder)…

Okay…the vomiting and the weeping seem to be under contro…

Sorry, I think I'm fine now.

I think the first woman was driven to her actions by the statements of the second. And I'd like to applaud her statements by showing the progress we've made in some the backwater areas of the Mountainous South.

Really.

For all her ill-informed, crazed tirade she shows the progress we've made in our country. As drunk as she was, and for all the nonsense she spewed about Obama, she was the one who DIDN'T drop the N-bomb. She's not racist against blacks…she's racist/religulist (to make up a word) against Arabs and Muslims.

I choose to take that as a sign of hope.

After I get done vomiting and weeping.Ulp!

J-mizzle said...

Yeah, that's why I'm scared for Barack if he gets elected... that man all kinds of people like that who hate him.

That cow-lady was pretty impressive though... after pissing on someone's doorstep and chasing children around, it was time to... disrupt some traffic? I love how there's still no explanation for the suit.

Merton Sussex said...

"Yeah, that's why I'm scared for Barack if he gets elected... that means all kinds of people like that who hate him."

See, and I almost find that comforting. As long as most of the people burdened by their hatred for the guy are the same people who are also burdened by a few dozen extra chromosomes, then he's probably pretty safe for the most part.

In some states, the three-day waiting period is in place less to help gun-buyers cool off from rage than it is to help them fergit why they wuz buyin' it.

Anonymous said...

I just added one of them there motorized llamas to my wish list at Amazon.com -- I ordered one of the deluxe ones -- it comes with a moonshine holder.