Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Curious Case of J.J.

At some point in our lives, we have all been there. We've all been confronted with random acts of ignorance or stupidity. Be it the jerk that cuts us off in traffic, the cashier who can't count quite fast enough, or the idiot blaring unbelievably loud metal music from his headphones in a public place, you have, at some point in your life, encountered a situation that made you pause and rethink your moral opinion on the use of violence as a means of expression. As rational human beings, we are quickly able to catch ourselves before our inner Charles Manson is unleashed. But there is that moment, before you come to your senses, where you stop and think "I swear, if I had a gun..."

Enter James Joseph Cialella, of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. While attending a Christmas night viewing of 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button', J.J. became irritated by a family of incessant noisemakers. Thoroughly disturbed that his Brad Pitt fix was being interrupted, J.J. implored the family to cease its clamor. His polite request was rebuffed and J.J. retaliated by tossing popcorn at a young son in the family. Finding that this was not a sufficient outlet for his troubles, Mr. Cialella rose from his seat and approached the family. As J.J. neared, the father of this rambunctious family rose from his own seat and was subsequently greeted by a shot in the arm from J.J.'s .380-caliber handgun.

Now it's up to you to decide how you feel about this story. You may call J.J. a monster, a lunatic, a sociopath. You may feel that his actions were unwarranted and unnecessary. But if you dig deep a bit deeper you will realize that there is a bit of J.J. lurking within us all. And then, perhaps, you will call him a hero.

And really, shouldn't we turn our attention to the real question - Why was a 29 year-old man alone watching 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' on Christmas night? That, my dear friends, is the true crime.

5 comments:

blaine_fridley said...

seems to be a level-headed response…

Reno Gruber said...

Rarely is there a logical place for shooting someone, but if someone rebuffed my request to shut their fucking face at a movie, I'd most likely show them the advantages of being 6'3, 260.

Thats right, i'd box them out in a pick up basketball game, and maybe throw some elbows.

Anonymous said...

Clearly J.J. is didn't have a conceal/carry permit. After going through that basic training of fire arms safety and control he'd know YOU ALWAYS SHOOT AT THE CENTER MASS!

JD at I Do Things said...

I didn't have to dig too deep to consider this guy a hero. Nor did I have to think too long to consider him a bit of a loser.

JD at I Do Things

Anonymous said...

Well, in times like this I consult the highest authority in my life…Chris Rock. The sage has thus spoken:

"If you go into a movie theater, and someone steps on your foot, let it SLIDE."

It is my interpretation that his intent would also apply to talking.

Who still goes to movie theaters, period?