Sunday, July 27, 2008

Your Headlines for July 28th, 2008

Latest from the DoF Newswire:

Heath Ledger's Ghost "Seriously Pissed" About "Dark Knight" Oscar Buzz
Says: "Oh, great. Thanks a lot, you assholes. That oughta bump up my paycheck for the next movie. Oh, wait...No it won't. Seriously, fuck you guys."
He's pretty spirited

Cheney No Longer Even Pretending to Give a Shit Anymore
"Undisclosed locations" reportedly well known to call girls, coke dealers, and pizza delivery guys














Hipster Fuck Enjoys Tiny Sweater, Horn-Rims, Ironic Haircut
"I'm different," insists total douche between sips of Pabst Blue Ribbon

6 comments:

blaine_fridley said...

oh, dip.
how you gonna play chuck klosterman like that, mert?
you're on probation.

Merton Sussex said...

Hey, I love the boy like a bathhouse back-scrubber, too. But he could try a little less hard to justify the stereotypes, eh?

Reno Gruber said...

Yes he looks like Uptown Pete Rose, but still its Klosty!

I dedicate this thread as 'Killing Merton to Live.'

blaine_fridley said...

uptown pete rose?

Reno Gruber said...

If Pete Rose lived in uptown Minneapolis and was in his mid-early 30s, he'd look like Chuck Klosterman.

Going on the theory that many lesbians look like Pete Rose, and Chuck Klosterman unfortunately looks like an old lesbian.

blaine_fridley said...

"Going on the theory that many lesbians look like Pete Rose"

read that as i was checking a guest in at the hotel. i sprayed in her face. no lie. what took it to the next level, though, was that fact that she was a lesbian who looked like larry bird.