Friday, January 09, 2009

The Intellectual Scrapheap: Not-So-Deep Thoughts from the Mind of Blaine Fridley

Why do the people on  board game boxes always look so fucking excited? I've played Connect Four before, assholes. It's not that fun.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

In the board game world, Connect Four is a perfect example of what German game snobs refer to as "AmeriTrash".

1. The packaging displays actual people, having fun playing the game

2. The game theme is entirely abstract, lacking any story elements

3. The game is produced and distributed by a souless megacorporation

4. There is a kinetic element to the game

5. The two players are working in a zero-sum competition, each advance necessarily moves the opponent back an equal measure.

When I hear a German game snob, I shoot him in the eye with my Crossbows and Catapult Set.

Frank White said...

Well the girl is excited because her unseen right hand is about to pull the lever that causes all the things to drop. At least that's the way every game of Connect Four I've ever played has ended.

Donny Ruth said...

It's obvious. They're both madly in love with eachother and are probably only playing the game to determine if, or if not, he will get to anal her later that evening.

Trust me. I know what I'm talking about. I have a love advice blog. I see this all the time.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with Donny Ruth, and based on the gesture the boy is making, it seems like there's going to be some fisting action involved.

Anonymous said...

Lmao @ Donny Ruth and Bad Egg!

Anonymous said...

They are happy for many reasons. A great country, wholesome games of skill and chance, and a daily dose of Scooby Doo Anti-depressents.

blaine_fridley said...

To All,

The above replies are the reason we love our readers.

Sincerely,

DoF Crew

Ben said...

I think it's pretty obvious Brother just jabbed Sister in the eye and took her turn.

Reno Gruber said...

Yes, but jabbed her with what?

Anonymous said...

In Ben's scenario they're RELATED? You're sick, Ben. Sick.

Ben said...

"Yes, but jabbed her with what?"

His WANG, alright? Are you happy now?