Fuck A.D.T., man. If you really cared about your family, you'd know there's only 1 way to stop would-be intruders in their tracks.
Dolph Lundgren.
And you don't even have to pay Comrade Drago to put the "I will break you" fear into them.
Apparently, just a couple of family portraits with Dolph photoshopped in will do:
Burglars tie up woman - but flee the house when they realise she's married to action hero actor Dolph Lundgren
By Gerard CouzensLast updated at 7:45 AM on 27th April 2009
Armed robbers fled after discovering the home they had broken into belonged to 'tough guy' actor Dolph Lundgren.
The masked raiders tied up the star's wife and terrorised her into handing over cash and jewellery by threatening her with knives.
But they cut short their raid on the house near Marbella, Spain, after spotting a family photo of the action star and his children in one of the bedrooms.
Luckily for the gang, Lundgren - most famous for playing Russian boxer Ivan Drago in Rocky IV - was out.
The 6ft 5in karate black belt, once bodyguard to singer Grace Jones, had to save his strength for consoling wife Anette when she phoned him in tears to tell him what had happened.
Police are still hunting the three attackers.
An insider said: 'Things might have turned out very differently if Dolph had been in.
'The criminals fled as soon as they realised the owner of the house they had raided was someone they wouldn't want to come up against in a fight.
'They left Anette pretty traumatized. She's Dolph's angel and anyone who messes with her is messing with him.'
Lundgren, an expert in full contact karate, once injured Sylvester Stallone while filming Rocky IV.
The Hollywood actor was taken to hospital with bruising after being punched in the chest.
The Swede, who turns 52 in November, still has a six-pack from training up to six days a week in his local gym.
He recently took part in a six-round exhibition fight against a Russian wrestler and boxer in Moscow.
The father-of-two, who moved to Marbella from London, has starred in more than 40 films since his breakthrough with Rocky IV and was in the frame for last year's I'm a Celebrity....Get Me Out of Here!'
He also has a master's degree in chemical engineering from the University of Sydney and a genius-level IQ of 160.
He has been married to jewellery designer wife Anette Qviberg for the past 15 years.
Their sunshine home is a stone's throw from Max Clifford's apartment in hills overlooking the Mediterranean in an exclusive residential area called Nueva Andalucia near Marbella.
Other celebrities with homes in the area - including Simon Cowell, Alan Sugar and Antonio Banderas - are thought to have upped security as a precaution.
A source said: 'Police have got very few leads. All three burglars wore balaclavas and they've no real description to go on.
'They're looking at CCTV footage to see if they can advance the inquiry. Dolph's away on business a lot and he's increased security to try to avoid a repeat.
'Anette has even spoken about leaving the area. But Dolph's persuaded her it's a one-off and they should stay put for now.' - The Daily Mail
Just cut, frame, place on your living room mantle and never lock your doors again. Drago's got this shit.
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4 comments:
The police will never find the three invaders as Dolph has clearly used his 160 IQ to track them and his karate expertise to kill them. He then ate them to hide the evidence and to be able to say "I've got chunks of guys like you in my stool".
Not to pee in everyone's pool, but the article never gives any solid evidence that it was Dolph's photo that induced them to flee, nor does it state whether or not they abandoned their ill gotten gains upon seeing his Dolphy countenance.
There is no quote from his wife about them peeing themselves and doing the Scooby-doo run in place before retreating, so really they just broke into his house, harassed his wife, stole some stuff, and skedaddled. That fact that they would have got their faces kicked and punched inside out had he been home is of little consequence.
That doesn't make a fun "news of the weird" story, though. Consider your pool full of pee.
thanks, knarf. you're fun.
Well I have to be a jerk to someone now that all the local mall Santas have restraining orders against me for protesting their not being the real Santa.
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