Thursday, April 09, 2009

Iraqi Shoe-thrower's Sentence Reduced to 1 year, Shoe-thrower's Target Still a Free Man

by Blaine Fridley, Editor-in-Chief/Superfreak

George W. Bush.

'member him?

White middle-aged dude about, oh, 6 feet tall, physically fit, salt and pepper hair tamed by the standard presidential side-part? 43rd president?

No?
Nothing?

Hmmm... what else, what else...ohyeah, derrrrr Blaine, you silly dunderhead! How could I forget "lied to the world about weapons of mass destruction to trick congress into authorizing an invasion of Iraq in a dubious effort to put his stamp on history and make up for a lifetime of over-privileged, coke-fueled, underachieving tom-fuckery at a cost of over 4,000 American lives, 100,000 Iraqi civilians, the economic well-being of the country and indeterminable damage to America's standing in the world?"

'member that?
There you go… I knew you'd get it sooner or later. Don't feel bad. You're not the only one. Ever since he left the White House in flames this past January, a lot of people seem to be forgetting his time in office and, more importantly, the countless lies spewed and crimes committed during his time in office that he should stand trial for. They're well documented and piled in a stack higher than young George on a spring break trip to Bogotá. ZING! (You can't see it, but my comedic-prop bow tie is spinning.)

In fact, as you may remember, his actions in office so angered a one Muntadhar al-Zaidi that he threw a shoe at the then-president during a December 14th press conference in Iraq.

And then he threw another one.

Drat. 0-for-2.

Luckily for George, the 30 year-old Iraqi journalist couldn't hit the broadside of a Delta Burke. He missed that squinty little motherfucker despite having proximity and the element of surprise on his side.

As The Dude would say, "That's a fucking bummer, man."

Well, this week an Iraqi court decided to reduce al-Zaidi's sentence from 3 years to 1 year. I think most Americans would agree this is 1 year too many.

So al-Zaidi sits in jail for throwing a shoe. 

Meanwhile, Bush and Cheney gang raped Lady Liberty right in front of the CNN cameras for 8 years and our government and legal system didn't even blink an eye.

Nobody did.

And we're not talking just about Iraq here.

The list of evil-doing goes on longer than the video results list for a "george w. bush + embarrassing speech" search on YouTube.

Torture, domestic spying, detainment without trial, outing the identity of a CIA agent, dismissing federal judges based on political alignment, creating a constant state of "war" to abuse executive power and using a record amount of signing statements to do the same. That takes care of the tip of the iceberg.

These aren't accusations. They're fact. And all available to you during a casual lunch break Google search. It'd even leave you with plenty of time to read Perez Hilton. ("HA-HA! The man drew a picture of a penis in Miley Cyrus' mouth! HA-HA! PENIS… that's brilliant. We should really get this man his own show.")
The work of a comedic genius. Obviously.

It's not as if Bush's actions fall in any sort of gray area of moral subjectivity. This is not an Oval Office humjob from a chubby intern.

These are egregiously unconstitutional actions, and therefore subject to criminal punishment.

And yet, we do nothing. 

The most litigious soul-fucking nation on Earth does nothing.

We'll sue McDonald's for having the audacity to serve us hot coffee or the school district for making little Timmy play dodgeball. We'll file a police report when someone steals our bike. But watch our president kill hundreds of thousands of people (again, including the Iraqi civilians) while wiping his ass with everything this country says it's about and how do we respond?

"As you were, sir. "  

Seems fine.

OK, so Dennis Kucinich did actually attempt to do something. But per usual, everybody just dismissed the adorable little man and then forced him to dance a jig as Harry Reid played the pan flute. At least that's how I remember it.

Anyway, no matter how laudable, Kucinich's calls for impeachment just aren't enough. 

Impeachment annnnd a public pantsing? Maybe.

Though ask author/lawyer Vincent Bugliosi and he'll take it even further: trying the ex-president for the murder of the 4,000+ men and women he sent to Iraq based on his lies.

Last summer he released a book outlining the case against him. And he also testified before the House Judiciary Committee about this topic and the abuse of executive power in general.

I have a hard time disagreeing with the man. Especially since Bush is responsible for the deaths of more Americans than Al-Qaeda (Mmmm… sooo incendiary. DeeeLISH.).

I know we're in the midst of an economic clusterfuck, and all energy is currently focused on that. But this issue simply can not be ignored. We can't just "turn the page" as the Obama administration suggests when we haven't addressed what's on the CURRENT page.

The legacy of George W. Bush is an insult to the U.S. Constitution. Secrecy, fear-mongering and totalitarian action with no accountability.

We only have ourselves to blame for the latter.

10 comments:

Merton Sussex said...

Golf. Clap. Brilliant in every inch.

Y'know, I remember reading recently that the global community is getting a little tired of waiting for us to act on this. I've read quite a bit of press that says that the World Court in The Hague is busy working with the UN prepping their international-law case on Bush and Cheney both, and may toss Blair on the list in the bargain. The charges are all the ones you mentioned and a few more.

I, for one, welcome the FUCK out of this. I think it's time Bush sees what it feels like when a foreign power you don't even agree with or even recognize the authority of barges into your crib and fucks up your shit. Only difference being, the World Court has actual facts and justice on their side. Which, unfortunately, probably means they'll fall flat on their face and be able to do nothing but impotently shake their fists.

No matter what, someone needs to hold that blood-boiling asshole accountable. The fact that he's allowed to just openly wipe his ass with the Constitution and then ride off into the sunset without a scratch still infuriates the sht out of me. And it will until he's forced to face the music. Because if he goes to his grave HONESTLY THINKING that he was just a misunderstood Great Leader who was criticized over having made Tough Decisions, I am not responsible.

Even so, what's almost worse is the inability or unwillingness of those who can do something to repair that breach sitting on their hands. It's the most frustrating thing I've ever personally experienced. The current administration is on a FAR more even-keeled path of moral justice, but every day that they do nothing isn't JUST an implicit endorsement of their predecessor's actions...It's an express message to all those who are yet to come: "Look at all the shit you can pull that you'll NEVER HAVE TO ANSWER FOR."

And THAT is the REAL tragedy of the "Bush Legacy." The fact that the example he set means that the potential for someone else to come along who is actually WORSE will eventually be realized. And we barely survived the first assault on the bedrock of our principles.

blaine_fridley said...

and it's not like it's a politically damaging move for anybody at this point… even most republicans acknowledge the abject failure/wrongdoing of his administration.

Anonymous said...

I think a lot of people (myself included) just want to forget about the D-baggery of the previous admin and turn eyes to the future...we'll let the revisionists paint Bush with the appropriate brush (the same revisionists that all my GOP friends were so convinced would exonerate and glorify Bush). As far as scumbaggy presidents go, even Nixon got a pass.

I'm willing to let it go, but only under the stipulation that I never hear the names W, Cheney, Rove, or Rice ever again.

blaine_fridley said...

anonymous-

that's my point though (mert's too). just "forgetting" about it is the WORST thing we could do. not only does it discredit our "democracy" in the eyes of the entire world, it tells future presidents they can do whatever the hell they want, consequence-free (with the exception of a dip in popularity polls, maybe).

blaine_fridley said...

oh, and ps, anonymous - thanks for reading!

Squidsquirts said...

Well, MY country did a whole lot of stiuff that frankly, they/we should all have burned in hell for. Re accountability of former administrations- we had something called the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, where violent rascists were made to tell the truth to victims and there families, often leading to prosecution rather than amnesty. This is my country, South Africa, but you know how it is- the US sneezes and sh*tty little third world countries like mine go belly-up. So yeeeeaaahhhh: Impeach/prosecute and indict him.

Squidsquirts said...

And I mean GWB, not a shoe-throwing guy...

Squidsquirts said...

And I mean GWB, not a shoe-throwing guy...

Tajmccall said...

They're all on the same team, Bush's dad helped set up the World Court so you can rest assured that ol' W. won't see a single gavel knock go against him.

These people are scary and extremely powerful.

I guess us Plebs should just marvel in their greatness. Thats what they'd say.

Katherine said...

Again, Blaine, I love you. That is all.