Gents, we've all been there. You meet a girl, you go out, you have a great time and because you know how to spot the ones with questionable judgement, she invites you back to your place.
Awesome.
You then convince her that pants cause cancer.
Super awesome.
She takes said alleged cancer-causing pants off.
Giggity.
But then you look below and GASP! basically, you see this:
what appears to be left-over admiration for Randy Moss circa the 2005 playoffs.
hmm.
um.
gross.
and awkward.
What to do, what to do…
Well, you could use the Reno Gruber Method which is properly executed by :
1. mentioning how much you abhor neglected, overgrown pube thickets
2. stare at her.
OK, but what if you're not a huge dick like Reno, but you're afraid "just dealing with it" will spark flashbacks from your time deep in the jungle of 'Nam?
Per usual, the interwebs have the answer. Providing she can decode all the subtleties at play here (a shaved cat? you bawdy little monkeys), this piece of horrendous advertising doubles as an unintentional, though somewhat effective, public service announcement that may shame her into at least clearing a path for you:
Or you could just bash her in the back of the head with a frying pan while yelling "shave your pubes!"
Either way.
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10 comments:
i particularly like the arrangement of bushes, with pube shapes ascending in order of whorishness.
the mundane triangle, to the self-assured strip, to the uber-strippery heart.
stupid though.
Actually, I have now foregone the strong comment-uncomfortable groin stare and in its place is the point and vomit.
It's like the point and laugh, but a lot messier and traumatic.
Somehow it became significantly less funny when I realized that it was a real commercial for a real product.
People, people, people. Stop messing with nature! God/Evolution designed the thicket so only the man brave enough face it, and with the tool to breach it, could successfully breed. That is foundation of world.
Unfortunately, some years back, a movement of deforestation under the guise of "grooming" took hold. Now, and Tom's Harry Dick can breed. This could lead to an uptick in the number of fastidious, lesser-endowed men and could lead to such unfortunate tragedies as continued man-scaping and world peace.
Stop the madness now. Be green. Let it grow.
hahahaha, nice work Askov.
game. set. match. Finlayson.
Wait, do the same rules apply for men?
i'd say yeah.
unless you picked him up at a string cheese incident concert.
than you can only expect the most impressive tiger mane of pubes.
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