A recent Associated Press poll shows that when it comes to choosing a new leader to captain the partially capsized vessel known as America, you - along with 18% of voters in this country - are apparently having a hard time deciding which candidate should get your vote.
Hmmm...really?
You are living in the most polarized political climate in our nation's history. And assuming you're planning on voting for one of the two major party candidates and not one of those 3rd party freaks like some clowns I know, the differences are as clear and distinct as, well, blue and red. There is no fence to sit on because the fence that divides the two candidates is crowned with electrified barbed wire. And manned by Checkpoint Charlie sharpshooters. And surrounded by a moat filled with hyper-carnivorous robot alligators from the future. That's no kind of place to sit, man.
Assuming Obama is truly devoted to seriously turning even half his promises into policy (Which I don't think will happen. Sorry. Jesse Ventura ass-raped my idealism 10 years ago by screwing the young voters who got him elected in the first place) and assuming McCain will continue to carry-out the Bush agenda (despite his laughable claims that "change is coming"), the overlap on this Venn diagram is about the size of a pinhole, at least on its face. Though, being the Zinn-head that I am, I'm personally assuming that anybody running as a Republican or Democrat ultimately answers to lobbyists, big business, etc.
But let's forget about that and take a quick look at some head-to-head comparisons, starting in order of importance:
Marijuana
("I like, take it as needed for back pain and depression and shit.")Obama:
-He's cool, man.
McCain:
-Believes it's a gateway drug and opposes legalization. Lamers.
Foreign Policy
Obama:
-Would engage in direct talks with Iran.
-Opponent of invasion of Iraq as Illinois State Senator, campaigned against war in 2004 Senate campaign.
-About Iraq, he stated in April 2007, "there's no military solution to this. We've got to have a political solution."
McCain:
-Opposes unconditional diplomatic talks with Iran.
-Hardcore supporter of Bush's war policies.
-Once sang "Bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bomb Iran" to the tune of the Beach Boys classic, "Barbara Ann".
-Would engage in direct talks with Iran.
-Opponent of invasion of Iraq as Illinois State Senator, campaigned against war in 2004 Senate campaign.
-About Iraq, he stated in April 2007, "there's no military solution to this. We've got to have a political solution."
McCain:
-Opposes unconditional diplomatic talks with Iran.
-Hardcore supporter of Bush's war policies.
-Once sang "Bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bomb Iran" to the tune of the Beach Boys classic, "Barbara Ann".
Abortion
Obama:
-Pro Choice
McCain:
-Anti-Choice except in cases of incest, rape or birth putting the mother's life at risk. His running mate, though, believes women shouldn't even have the right to abort pregnancy in cases of incest or rape. Yeah, forcing women to not only live with but care for the product of the most dehumanizing, scarring thing one can do to another…THAT'S the moral high ground. What a fucking snatch.
Moving right along…
-Pro Choice
McCain:
-Anti-Choice except in cases of incest, rape or birth putting the mother's life at risk. His running mate, though, believes women shouldn't even have the right to abort pregnancy in cases of incest or rape. Yeah, forcing women to not only live with but care for the product of the most dehumanizing, scarring thing one can do to another…THAT'S the moral high ground. What a fucking snatch.
Moving right along…
Labor
Obama:
-Supported the Employee Free Choice Act, federal legislation that grants workers the right to join unions free from employer harassment or intimidation.
-Supports requiring the wealthiest Americans to pay a higher tax rate to finance these tax credits and other federal programs.
-Supported raising the minimum wage and indexing it to inflation. Obama voted in favor of raising the federal minimum wage to $7.25 an hour.
-Supported the Employee Free Choice Act, federal legislation that grants workers the right to join unions free from employer harassment or intimidation.
-Supports requiring the wealthiest Americans to pay a higher tax rate to finance these tax credits and other federal programs.
-Supported raising the minimum wage and indexing it to inflation. Obama voted in favor of raising the federal minimum wage to $7.25 an hour.
McCain:
-Supports keeping the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy, where the top tax rate was cut from 39.6% to 35.0%, giving the very wealthy a tax windfall.
-Not only failed to sponsor EFCA legislation, he voted against the motion to close debate, effectively killing the Employee Free Choice Act (H.R. 800, Vote #227, 6/26/07).
-McCain voted against increasing the minimum wage (SA.44 to S.256, Vote #26, 3/7/05).
-Not only failed to sponsor EFCA legislation, he voted against the motion to close debate, effectively killing the Employee Free Choice Act (H.R. 800, Vote #227, 6/26/07).
-McCain voted against increasing the minimum wage (SA.44 to S.256, Vote #26, 3/7/05).
Misc.
Obama:
-Claims MLK, Ghandi and Cesar Chavez as heroes.
-Mac user who admits to being addicted to his Blackberry.
-Musical favorites include Bob Dylan, Stevie Wonder and The Fugees.
-In front of audiences, he's inspiring, thoughtful and eloquent.
-Claims MLK, Ghandi and Cesar Chavez as heroes.
-Mac user who admits to being addicted to his Blackberry.
-Musical favorites include Bob Dylan, Stevie Wonder and The Fugees.
-In front of audiences, he's inspiring, thoughtful and eloquent.
McCain:
-Claims his hero is Teddy Roosevelt, a world-class prick.
-Admitted to being computer illiterate.
-Music makes him angry.
-In front of audiences, he comes off as an anthropomorphic tree stump, only less captivating.
-Claims his hero is Teddy Roosevelt, a world-class prick.
-Admitted to being computer illiterate.
-Music makes him angry.
-In front of audiences, he comes off as an anthropomorphic tree stump, only less captivating.
So there you have it. One candidate at one end, the second candidate on the other. I know you love both parties falling all over themselves to solidify your vote, but stop being such an attention whore and make a choice. And by that, I mean not John McCain.
Sincerely,
Blaine Fridley
Posts
6 comments:
I only wish you'd stop being an asshat and just vote for Obama!!
@ katherine
my revolutionary ancestors died in the mud to give me the RIGHT to be an asshat.
"when are we sending an air mail message to iran?" this is truly terrifying, and people actually cheered to this question . . . i wouldn't put it past america to elect mccain into office
Ummm...you have no ancestors that died in any sort of American revolution.
As one of the proud members of the 18% that goes into pretty much every political race "undecided" let's look at the list Blaine provided:
Marijuana: Personally, I say legalize it with a $20.00 per oz. tax. Don't use it, so really falls into the "who gives a rat's ass" category for me.
Foreign Policy: Pointing out that Obama's willing to sit down and talk unconditionally with Iran does not bolster his foreign policy resume.
Obama: "You've got to stop threatening to destroy Israel and learn be accepting of other cultures."
Akmadinijad: "No. By the way, I want to blow up America, too, I just can't fit it into my planner."
Let's face it, Iran is under one of the most brutal, psychopathic dictatorships since, well, Hussein. We can argue all day whether it was worth the cost (on any level) to invade Iraq and whether it'll ever be necessary to invade Iran, but Akmadinijad makes Charlie Manson appear somewhat reasonable. If he were an American claiming there were no homosexuals in his country and pushing at every opportunity to wipe the Jewish people from the face of the Earth most Obama supporters would be pushing for him to be shot, after several forms of torture were applied. But, since he brutally runs a country in the middle east he needs to be talked to?
McCain's not out to invade every country, and he certainly was not in lockstep with W's plan to invade Iraq (he was one of the biggest critics on how the invasion was handled). He pushed for the surge and had pushed for a larger troop commitment all along because the "surge," has largely worked.
Obama's partially right, military force alone will not solve Iraq's ills. But what his supporters don't seem to realize is that one of their misappropriated McCain quotes is accurate, we're likely going to have a significant troop presence there for the next 100 years. Just like we do in Germany, Japan and Korea (if I have to connect the dots for you here any further…).
Labor:
Ooh…those poor labor unions. Listen, employees should have the right to unionize, but most labor unions are also wielding incredible power and influence. I don't trust most unions any further than I trust most CEOs.
As far as the minimum wage goes. Should it be higher in major metro areas? Yes. Should be required it be $7.25 in rural areas? Ummm…no.
Now, I also believe McCain is wrong about continuing the Bush Tax Cuts.
I honestly don't know who I'm voting for yet (McCain had a slight edge until the politically blatant VP pick to shore up the crazy right wingers). Both candidates espouse somethings I agree with and some things I oppose. So let them keep pandering to me until election day. I AM an attention whore in addition to being a cubicle terrorist.
Well written article.
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