Monday, September 08, 2008

Election 2008: RNC Wrap-up


By Blaine Fridley, Editor-in-Chief/Pog Enthusiast, Advocate and Ambassador
St. Paul, MN-

So it's over. The Republicans have left our sleepy little capital city, the hookers following in the wake of their SUV convoys like dolphins following the trail of food scraps dumped overboard from a Carnival cruise ship. Dolphins with daddy issues and drug dependency who do double penetration for only $20 extra, that is. 

Yes, finally I can get to downtown St. Paul unabated to enjoy everything it has to offer. Like drinking. And betting on the tumbleweed races. And drinking. And I can do it all without being pepper-sprayed or interviewed by Tucker Carlson whilst on my way there.

To tell you the truth, it was my original intent with this post to recap last week's festivities until I remembered, "Hey, hasn't the mainstream media covered enough of this GOP circle jerk already? Why don't you give your readers something fresh, worthwhile and entertaining? Why, Blaine, don't you give them a dance lesson by James Brown instead?"

And so I replied to myself, "Self, that's a brilliant idea. I love everything about you and what you represent. You're the greatest man I've ever known." [Moves in for a slow, sensual kiss with reflection in mirror]. 

A-hem. Sorry. That got a little weird. Sometimes I forget that other people are reading this. 

Anyway, see you in hell, GOP. It's time to get on the good foot:



5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Most excellent video. Definitely more entertaining, informative, and, dare I say it, sexy than the Republican Convention. And all that DIVERSITY in the dance moves -- that was so much better than the 20 or so shots of that one black delegate they kept showing.

blaine_fridley said...

thanks, eggsie, the rumor is that one black delegate was actually robert downey jr in blackface. i just need one more person to repeat that rumor and then it becomes fact as defined by fox news corp.

ps- is random chat logs dead?

Merton Sussex said...

Let's hear it for the Sex Machine. Soul Brother #1. The Hardest Workin' Man in Show Business.

It's a nice antidote to the whitewashed GOP convention coverage. Watching the pale righty delegates shuffle stiffly while clapping on 1 and 3 during the music breaks not only makes me ashamed of my race, it makes me want to drive the four hours to Madison, find Clyde Stubblefield, and apologize to him personally on behalf of it.

Just means I'm more determined than ever to vote for the guy who actually HAS some JB on his iPod.

Meg Stefanac said...

I heard that one black delegate was actually Robert Downey Jr in blackface.

(now truth)

Random chatlogs isn't dead. It's just a victim of irony. I used to get hit up almost daily. Ever since I took the time to put them all into a public blog, I have had ZERO random IM's from anything other than bots. I figured that my SN's had been blacklisted in Nigeria so I made several other that I keep logged in at all times -- still, nothing. :(

Anonymous said...

Oops. Meg = Bad egg