New 9/11 Memorial Opens, CNN Poops on it

by Gloucester de la Vegas, Gifted/Talented Child, Arts/Culture Correspondent

We here at "Diary of Fools" like making fun of other people. Why wouldn't we? Sure, I eat paste and believe in the Tooth Fairy, but I still know they deserve it. Welcome to life, old people. It's half about sorrow and half about how dumb you are. I mean, not YOU, but those other people.

But if CNN is going to put up an article concerning a new memorial to those who died on September 11, 2001, in terrorist attacks...why would they make the headline "Pentagon 9/11 memorial honors victims in symbols, concrete"? And the lack of capitalization is theirs, not mine. And that's just the start of it. If you read this "article", you will learn exactly how NOT to write about sculpture, and how to make every possible mistake.

Here's just one key quote: "the wall is designed to remind visitors of the youngest and oldest victims, wrapping the memorial in symbolic imagery." Well, put simply, and I guess that's how you like it, CNN.com, -- an artistic memorial to a tragedy can't be, so to speak "wrapped in [its own] symbolic imagery". No artwork can, that doesn't make sense.

In about 13 years I hope I can get an internship at CNN.com so I can advise the staff of writers there how to write. I'm joking, of course, I'm sure by then they'll know how. But for fun, here's a sentence like the one referenced above. You know, just for practice: "The Popsicle, wrapped in its wrap that graphically suggested the brand 'Popsicle' and enclosed the frozen treat, was symbolic of an ice cream product." I smell Pulitzer.

Yes, that's what this whole Web "article" is like. And for the record, it's actually because I, Gloucester de la Vegas, actually do care about America and 9/11 and humanity, and stuff. So I just would like a major news source like CNN not to make a mess of it. I'm in 1st grade now, and I know that I have moronic peers who write like monkeys with a crayon. But at least they're not paid by CNN to do it.

Hey, personal note to Sarah Palin: I'll bet you could read this CNN article and not find anything wrong with it. Nothing personal, it's just a gut feeling. You seem like a nice mommy, and I'm in a position to know, uniquely. But if you think I'm saying you're a bit dumb, shrill, self-serving, lack circumspection, and really don't have any normal human decency, yes, that's what I suspect about you. I'm sure you're very busy being on the campaign trail and you don't have time to consider what is or isn't good journalism. And the liberal media will always hate you because you're beautiful, or so you think.

But again, awesome mommy, I'm sure.

The above statements do not represent the editorial or moral position of "Diary of Fools".dot whatever. This is a legal disclaimer, of sorts. It may not be perfect, but it does the job. Get used to it, old people. This is the new way of doing things. You'll see when I'm 18, which will be the year 2020. There will be new "World Trade towers" by then, and they won't even be new any more, and hopefully the world will be at peace.