Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Major League Baseball to promote Patriotism, Horrible Irony with Special "American Flag" Designed Apparel.


Major League Baseball long ago found out it had a revenue whore in its identifiable game caps, otherwise known as the 59/50. Soon teams began to wear separate caps at home and on the road. Before long, some teams had up to 4 and 5 different official hats they would wear a year. Not much later, horrible hip hop artists would open another side of Pandora's box in the 'fashion alternate.' A hat that would feature only the team's logo, usually in one color (white/black) set against a color found nowhere on the teams palate. Shown wonderfully by musical disgrace 'Fabolous' (extra fuck you points for making me search how to correctly spell your incorrectly spelled moniker.)


That was all fine and good (terrible.) Years went by, logos got bigger, smaller, some hats didn't even know what logo to pick so they just used both. As a designer, I mustn't hate. I've even been commissioned to make sports hats. There is a huge market in it. Anything that gives designers more cash, I can get behind. Well in theory at least. It's not good taste, but it's a business. We can't all masturbate in a pool of our own ideals.


But of course the aborted baby of this cash cow would soon be forced out of the womb that is this burgeoning industry. Starting a year or two back, during Memorial Day Weekend and Independence Day the league began to superimpose the American flag over each teams logo. All teams forced to wear a Navy hat with Old Glory all up in the team's business. The problem does not lay with patriotism. Not even the poor taste. It's the alarming trend of force-feeding it in the name of some memorial to a game that is best played by people not of this land. Moreover, it's in the way they are aggressively marketed in stores and ballparks everywhere to get another buck out of the dwindling pockets of Joe Sixpack.

But truly, the smoking gun lies in the fact that every team must participate. Including a team with a logo so hilariously outdated it's kept mostly for its kitsch nod to the un-PC past; the Cleveland Indians. The horrific irony of a cartooned Indian with the flag of the government that slaughtered thousands of its people (ya know, the ones it didn't swindle out of its land) is too much for this man to swallow without at least calling attention to it with a middle finger for everyone to see.

So if you want to know how to boil the blood of a relatively well mannered blogger, show up to the ballpark wearing this piece of commercialized dogshit.No word if New Era plans to release yarmulkes emblazoned with Iron Crosses and Swastikas. Stay tuned.

4 comments:

blaine_fridley said...

good lookin', reno. shit's despicable. can we add to this the horseshit post-9/11 tradition of singing "God Bless America" during the 7th inning stretch?

Lucy Parker said...

don't forget the hats that have every MLB team logo on them

Katherine said...

That is the ugliest hat I've ever seen in my life.

Also, "Fabolous" sucks.

Tajmccall said...

I almost posted the everything hats Luce, but then realized it'd be sidetracked with anger.