Thursday, May 28, 2009

Your Headlines for May 28, 2009


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Entertainment
Jon Gosselin's Soul Pronounced Dead



Economy
Matthew McConaughey's Shirt Budget Falls Victim to Recession… With Sexy Results


Crime
Chris Brown Stabs Fast Food Employee
"I specifically asked for extra Arby's Sauce"


3 comments:

Merton Sussex said...

At this point, I'm thinking that Chrispy has but a single option left to salvage what's left of his career: Country Music.

Aye, that last respite of the commercially dead artist, Country. The same low-bar safe haven of crushing mediocrity and low expectations that is currently extending the careers of Jessica Simpson, Hootie, and multiple reality-show rejects by an extra, undeserved fifteen minutes.

Yep...If you've proven yourself a tragic, abject failure in any other area of endeavor, that MORE than qualifies you for smashing success in the world of pickup trucks, beer, and 6th-grade educations! So I'm sure Mr. Brown-eye will be embraced by Country fans and their all-but-nonexistent standards.

Sure, there are still a lot of Red-State venues where he'll have to use the service entrance, but if it was good enough for Charley Pride, it oughta be good enough for his hottie-beating douchebag ass.

Askov Finlayson said...

Taj -

Isn't that why you can turn the sound off?

Katherine said...

Jon's soul from jon and kate plus 8 has loooong been dead.