By Blaine Fridley, Editor-in-ChiefIn my lifetime, fewer areas of medical research have made such gigantic leaps forward than the treatment of vaginal yeast infections (with the possible exception of the advancements made in the field of geriatric boners. Sorry cancer, take a number).
In the span of 20 years, the vadge experts at Monistat have shortened the time it takes to defeat the yeasty menace from 10 days to 1 day. Amazing! 
Yet for some reason, Monistat still offers 7- and 3-day formulas alongside the formula that will eradicate the infection in just 1 day. Maybe I'm just missing something here because I'm a man(-child), but who in the hell would opt for anything other than the 1 day treatment? "Yeah, I know there's a one-day treatment, Doc, but I'm going to opt for 6 more hellish days as a cottage cheese factory instead, if you don't mind."
I'm Blaine Fridley, and these are the things I think about.
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3 comments:
Cottage cheese?
That just means 6 more days of knowing that you have something to spread on your breakfast bagel.
I don't take anything less than the maximum-strength pain reliever, either. I also exceed the recommended daily dosage several times over. FUCK my liver and stomach lining, I have a headache NOW. Besides, by the time they need replacing, they'll be able to grow me a new one in a petri dish out of cells they harvest from my shower drain, anyway. So who cares?
How do you think the cheesecake was able to afford the factory?
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