The Diary of Fools Accu-Weather Forecast with Meteorologists Fat Joe and Lil' Wayne

Nationwide Weather Summary:

Your block will remain hot in the South, as shit stays real on the eastern seaboard with seasonable fall temps. Out west, you'll get it poppin' with a sunny start to the day, though a late afternoon fog will have you rollin' deep cover during your PM commute. From Chi-Town to St. Louis, jealous ones will envy the Midwest, as Doppler radar shows you can lean back 'cuz you ain't got nuthin' until later in the day.

Meanwhile, a concentrated storm system of heavy precipitation will continue to follow straight ballaz across the nation:

Holla.

Dow Jones drops 777 points as House gives gasface to $700 billion bailout

Monday morning's opening bell malfunction at the New York Stock Exchange probably should have been our first clue that it wasn't going to be Wall Street's day.

Click pic for audio from Monday's opening bell->

Your Headlines for September 29, 2008

From DoF Newswire:

World

New Bin Laden videotape with Kim Kardashian discloses "hottest terror threats yet," says Defense Secretary Robert Gates

Local

Fox 9 News wins local Emmy for "Best Comedy"

Life

Six Flags unveils new Tara Reid Experience Rollercoaster

"Most terrifying, vomitous ride of my life," says one rider

Who would make you feel more comfortable as Vice President of the United States?

Haven't we seen this "the more ignorant I am about an issue (in Palin's case RE: EVERYTHING) the more brazenly resolute I'll be about it" bit somewhere before?

Fucking A. Mr. Fareed Zakaria, please, break it down:

Palin Is Ready? Please.
McCain says that he always puts country first. In this important case, that is simply not true.

Fareed Zakaria
NEWSWEEK
From the magazine issue dated Oct 6, 2008

Will someone please put Sarah Palin out of her agony? Is it too much to ask that she come to realize that she wants, in that wonderful phrase in American politics, "to spend more time with her family"? Having stayed in purdah for weeks, she finally agreed to a third interview. CBS's Katie Couric questioned her in her trademark sympathetic style. It didn't help. When asked how living in the state closest to Russia gave her foreign-policy experience, Palin responded thus:

"It's very important when you consider even national-security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace of the United States of America. Where—where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to—to our state."

There is, of course, the sheer absurdity of the premise. Two weeks ago I flew to Tokyo, crossing over the North Pole. Does that make me an expert on Santa Claus? (Thanks, Jon Stewart.) But even beyond that, read the rest of her response. "It is from Alaska that we send out those …" What does this mean? This is not an isolated example. Palin has been given a set of talking points by campaign advisers, simple ideological mantras that she repeats and repeats as long as she can. ("We mustn't blink.") But if forced off those rehearsed lines, what she has to say is often, quite frankly, gibberish.

Couric asked her a smart question about the proposed $700 billion bailout of the American financial sector. It was designed to see if Palin understood that the problem in this crisis is that credit and liquidity in the financial system has dried up, and that that's why, in the estimation of Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson and Fed chairman Ben Bernanke, the government needs to step in to buy up Wall Street's most toxic liabilities. Here's the entire exchange:

COURIC: Why isn't it better, Governor Palin, to spend $700 billion helping middle-class families who are struggling with health care, housing, gas and groceries; allow them to spend more and put more money into the economy instead of helping these big financial institutions that played a role in creating this mess?

PALIN: That's why I say I, like every American I'm speaking with, were ill about this position that we have been put in where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health-care reform that is needed to help shore up our economy, helping the—it's got to be all about job creation, too, shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track. So health-care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americans. And trade, we've got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, scary thing. But one in five jobs being created in the trade sector today, we've got to look at that as more opportunity. All those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that.

This is nonsense—a vapid emptying out of every catchphrase about economics that came into her head. Some commentators, like CNN's Campbell Brown, have argued that it's sexist to keep Sarah Palin under wraps, as if she were a delicate flower who might wilt under the bright lights of the modern media. But the more Palin talks, the more we see that it may not be sexism but common sense that's causing the McCain campaign to treat her like a time bomb.

Can we now admit the obvious? Sarah Palin is utterly unqualified to be vice president. She is a feisty, charismatic politician who has done some good things in Alaska. But she has never spent a day thinking about any important national or international issue, and this is a hell of a time to start. The next administration is going to face a set of challenges unlike any in recent memory. There is an ongoing military operation in Iraq that still costs $10 billion a month, a war against the Taliban in Afghanistan and Pakistan that is not going well and is not easily fixed. Iran, Russia and Venezuela present tough strategic challenges.

Domestically, the bailout and reform of the financial industry will take years and hundreds of billions of dollars. Health-care costs, unless curtailed, will bankrupt the federal government. Social Security, immigration, collapsing infrastructure and education are all going to get much worse if they are not handled soon.

And the American government is stretched to the limit. Between the Bush tax cuts, homeland-security needs, Iraq, Afghanistan and the bailout, the budget is looking bleak. Plus, within a few years, the retirement of the baby boomers begins with its massive and rising costs (in the trillions).

Obviously these are very serious challenges and constraints. In these times, for John McCain to have chosen this person to be his running mate is fundamentally irresponsible. McCain says that he always puts country first. In this important case, it is simply not true.

URL: http://www.newsweek.com/id/161204© 2008

Thank you, Fareed.

The Day I Lost my Faith in Humanity, part IX

I would write something more on this, but my keyboard is drowning in vomit and tears:

(Click here for story)

Election 2008: An Open Letter to the Undecided Voter

By Blaine Fridley

Dear Undecided,

A recent Associated Press poll shows that when it comes to choosing a new leader to captain the partially capsized vessel known as America, you - along with 18% of voters in this country - are apparently having a hard time deciding which candidate should get your vote.

Hmmm...really?

You are living in the most polarized political climate in our nation's history. And assuming you're planning on voting for one of the two major party candidates and not one of those 3rd party freaks like some clowns I know, the differences are as clear and distinct as, well, blue and red. There is no fence to sit on because the fence that divides the two candidates is crowned with electrified barbed wire. And manned by Checkpoint Charlie sharpshooters. And surrounded by a moat filled with hyper-carnivorous robot alligators from the future. That's no kind of place to sit, man.

Assuming Obama is truly devoted to seriously turning even half his promises into policy (Which I don't think will happen. Sorry. Jesse Ventura ass-raped my idealism 10 years ago by screwing the young voters who got him elected in the first place) and assuming McCain will continue to carry-out the Bush agenda (despite his laughable claims that "change is coming"), the overlap on this Venn diagram is about the size of a pinhole, at least on its face. Though, being the Zinn-head that I am, I'm personally assuming that anybody running as a Republican or Democrat ultimately answers to lobbyists, big business, etc.

But let's forget about that and take a quick look at some head-to-head comparisons, starting in order of importance:

Marijuana

("I like, take it as needed for back pain and depression and shit.")

Obama:

-He's cool, man.

McCain:

-Believes it's a gateway drug and opposes legalization. Lamers.

Foreign Policy

Obama:
-Would engage in direct talks with Iran.
-Opponent of invasion of Iraq as Illinois State Senator, campaigned against war in 2004 Senate campaign.
-About Iraq, he stated in April 2007, "there's no military solution to this. We've got to have a political solution."

McCain:
-Opposes unconditional diplomatic talks with Iran.
-Hardcore supporter of Bush's war policies.
-Once sang "Bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bomb Iran" to the tune of the Beach Boys classic, "Barbara Ann".

Abortion

Obama:
-Pro Choice

McCain:
-Anti-Choice except in cases of incest, rape or birth putting the mother's life at risk. His running mate, though, believes women shouldn't even have the right to abort pregnancy in cases of incest or rape. Yeah, forcing women to not only live with but care for the product of the most dehumanizing, scarring thing one can do to another…THAT'S the moral high ground. What a fucking snatch.

Moving right along…

Labor

Obama:
-Supported the Employee Free Choice Act, federal legislation that grants workers the right to join unions free from employer harassment or intimidation.
-Supports requiring the wealthiest Americans to pay a higher tax rate to finance these tax credits and other federal programs.
-Supported raising the minimum wage and indexing it to inflation. Obama voted in favor of raising the federal minimum wage to $7.25 an hour.

McCain:

-Supports keeping the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy, where the top tax rate was cut from 39.6% to 35.0%, giving the very wealthy a tax windfall.
-Not only failed to sponsor EFCA legislation, he voted against the motion to close debate, effectively killing the Employee Free Choice Act (H.R. 800, Vote #227, 6/26/07).
-McCain voted against increasing the minimum wage (SA.44 to S.256, Vote #26, 3/7/05).

Misc.

Obama:
-Claims MLK, Ghandi and Cesar Chavez as heroes.
-Mac user who admits to being addicted to his Blackberry.
-Musical favorites include Bob Dylan, Stevie Wonder and The Fugees.
-In front of audiences, he's inspiring, thoughtful and eloquent.

McCain:
-Claims his hero is Teddy Roosevelt, a world-class prick.
-Admitted to being computer illiterate.
-Music makes him angry.
-In front of audiences, he comes off as an anthropomorphic tree stump, only less captivating.

So there you have it. One candidate at one end, the second candidate on the other. I know you love both parties falling all over themselves to solidify your vote, but stop being such an attention whore and make a choice. And by that, I mean not John McCain.

Sincerely,

Blaine Fridley

Pop Culture: The Celebrity Sexual Spectrum and Kids Today

by Lucy Parker

I don’t know what I find more frightening, the guilt of purity rings or the brazen displays of sexual promiscuity of “Gossip Girl”. One thing I am certain of, is that I am happy that I do not have to participate in the time-honored tradition of the “bird and the bees” talk with an adolescent any time soon. I wouldn’t even know where to begin with the recent pop culture onslaught of sexuality, or lack thereof depending on which celebrity you are talking about.

It seems that within the last two years or so Hollywood and pop culture in general has begun to shift on views of sex and sexuality. A lot of older people tend to dismiss much of what is going on in pop culture, but adolescents are being constantly inundated by TV shows, radio, and tabloids. And there seems to be hardly any middle ground on the topic, just extreme opposites. It would confuse anyone.

On one side of the celebrity sexual spectrum there is the Disney group, freakishly popular and powerful. The Jonas Brothers, Selena Gomez, and the High School Musical cast (however, some of them should probably be on Gossip Girl), are multi-million dollar money making machines that adolescents (and my roommate) cannot get enough of. Anything they can put those kids faces on, they will market; pens, pillows, DVD’s, clothing, etc.

However, this marketing isn’t anything that hasn’t been seen before. Actually, one Christmas I received a poster and video tape of a Backstreet Boys concert from Blaine Fridley himself. The big push that gets these usually craptastic items frenzied off the shelf are the parents of these kids who are hopped up on the purity rings a good number of these people wear. The majority of the Disney group kids have sworn to remain chaste until marriage, and to prove their commitment to this promise they wear a ring on their wedding finger. They also go to church a lot, discuss Jesus, and are constantly surrounded by adults deemed “trust worthy”.

Then there are shows like “Gossip Girl” and “90210”. The advertisements alone for “Gossip Girl” caused quite an up stir, OMFG. Basically, these two shows are the same except for the back drop. They’re about a bunch of well to do kids with little to no parental supervision, who somehow get into swanky New York clubs and Hollywood hang-outs to drink/snort the night away, and for their hobbies spend their time giving BJ’s in the school parking lot and bed jumping. But at least they are fashionably dressed while doing so.

Yeah, yeah, yeah there’s other stuff involved, but no one tunes in for that. “90210” is 3 or 4 shows in to the series and people (i.e. me) are already calling for someone to a) lose their v-card, b) get pregnant, c) overdose on something, d) all of the above. Sounds horrible, right? That’s because it is. But these TV shows (including Disney’s) are fantasy, not real; and they are being targeted to young girls who have a hard time distinguishing what is real and what is not.

The kids in Hollywood can’t even distinguish. Case in point, Miley Cyrus of Hannah Montana and Vanessa Hudgens of High School Musical; both brought up in the squeaky clean Disney machine, both have had some very questionable pictures surface, some very Gossip Girl material, all taking place while they were 16 and under. When these pictures surfaced of a naked Hudgens and a, well the list is too long for the range of pictures of Cyrus, both girls had to publicly apologize for something that they did privately. They weren’t doing anything illegal or anything that the majority of this country hasn’t already done, but now these girls are labeled as whores.

The girls on the “Gossip Girl” and “90210” aren’t even labeled as such, in fact those girls are somewhat revered. Cyrus and Hudgens are celebrity sexual spectrum road kill, berated because their personal decisions have fallen somewhere in the middle. They can’t hang with the purity ring people because, you know, they’re “whores”, and they can’t hang out with the “Gossip Girl” people because they’re not vicious enough. So they’re sort of swept to the side.

So, my question is how are teenagers/young adults, now and in the coming years, going to respond to these two extremes in their own lives? Kids in America pretty much do what they want to do based upon who they hang out with and where their interests lie. So my guess, based solely upon my highly scientific celebrity research, is that there will be three groups: group 1) the purity ring group and their diametrically opposed group 2) the gossip girl group, and the middle ground where the majority will lay 3) the sexual spectrum road kill. It’s almost similar to what’s been seen in the past, but with more OMFGs, green bra references, and diamond encrusted purity rings from Tiffany’s.

Urinalysis: a multi-part study of the behaviors, codes, customs and characters of the workplace restroom

By Blaine Fridley

Study #2: Three Stall Monte

Upon entering the men's room you notice all three of this particular bathroom's stalls are open. Which do you choose to avoid a painfully embarrassing moment for any co-worker who enters the bathroom shortly thereafter and needs to blast a dookie really, REALLY bad?

A) The stall on the left
B) The stall on the right

C) The middle stall

D) A or B, but not C

E) All of the above

Answer: D, you fucking dolt. If you answered differently, please remove yourself from the classroom known as life because you just failed a pre-kindergarden level test of unwritten but painfully obvious societal norms. When you have a 3-stall situation, you do not, under any circumstance, take the middle one. This is not Hollywood Squares (Though my fecal matter is a marked improvement over the comedy stylings of Bruce Vilanch) and you're not taking Shadoe Stevens to block.

In a situation such as this, the middle stall is the all important buffer stall. The reasons for a buffer stall are plentiful, stench among them. But more importantly, the buffer stall allows you to pinch a loaf without modifying your regular routine (i.e. silencing your usual array of guttural noises, grunts and lamaze breathing techniques used during fecal labor in exchange for those awkward, self-conscious "whisper grunts").

The buffer stall also helps ease the tension many people feel when pooping in places other than their home crapper. When you take the middle stall you add an exponential amount of stress and disgust in the mind of the already timid workplace pooper. It's bad enough being forced to drop the deuce at your place of business, but then add the fact that your co-worker is wiping his ass a mere Larry Craig wide stance away while he gets a front row seat to listen to your every brown-eye burp and well...shit man, that's just fucking nerve-wracking. So, like, stop doing that and stuff.

Urinalysis Archive:

Study #1: Reverse Hand-wash Guy

Only Slightly by Matt Hudgins

by Matt Hudgins

Is it a scoop if everyone already knows?

Way to muckrake, People:

But word on the street is next week's cover will be the REAL shocker:

Links O' Love (Read this Blog): BlackCynic America

How can you NOT love a blog that's responsible for getting this video more exposure:

(Click pic for vid)

BlackCynic America is one of the most consistently entertaining, insightful blogs around. Seriously, do yourself a favor and check it out. I'm not sure how many folks are visiting on a daily basis, but I'm positive more need to. So, show him some love, DoF readers.

Poo Diddy and The Karmic Jackpot

Thank you, TMZ. Thank you.


Diddy -- Full of Crap
Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:46AM by TMZ Staff

Sean "whateverhewantstobecalledthesedays" Combs got karmic retribution all over his gold slippers for talking so much s**t (and bringing Danity Kane into the world) -- and stepped in a steaming mound of dog feces in NYC on Thursday.

Political Gimmicks

By Lucy Parker

I follow politics pretty closely, here in America and abroad as well. I find the whole American election process to be interesting; from the actual candidate to the political strategists and the all too typical itineraries politicians seem to be on since birth. One thing always seemed apparent to me, whether Republican or Democrat, all politicians are pretty much the same, just different labels.

However, in 2004 at the Democratic national convention my interest was peaked by a young Illinois state senator. Ever since his key note speech, I have followed Senator Barack Obama; a former community organizer to United States senator, and now the Democratic nominee for president of the United States. Needless to say, it was apparent that this election would be like no other election this country has seen. I saw it as an indication of this county’s progress, an indication of what this country might yet one day be. In early 2007, when Senator Obama announced his candidacy for president of the United States it was an understatement to say he gave me hope, he gave me faith.

The Democratic primaries would be a historic race, and Hilary Clinton proved to be a formidable opponent. While I was not a supporter of Senator Clinton, she has a proven political record and is capable of running this country, something I could respect. I was proud, not only as a Hispanic woman, but as an American; that in only a few short decades since the Civil Rights Movement and in under a century since women fought and earned the right to vote, we were in the midst of a presidential election where two of the top candidates were an African-American and a female.

With a majority of the country’s political attention span staying focused on what was happening with the Democratic primaries, it became clear after a tight race that Senator Obama would win the nomination. And even when it was clear that Senator Obama would win the nomination, the momentum stayed with the Democrats. A desperate move would be needed, a move that would either sink or swim the Republican chance at presidency. The Republicans never being one to be short on political strategy, came up with the biggest political gimmick of them all by naming Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin as their Vice Presidential nominee.

Sarah who? I had only heard of Governor Palin once before, when it was announced that she was 7 months pregnant while in office. An apparent news worthy event. A self-styled “maverick”, Senator John McCain and his campaign made repeated references to how Governor Palin has taken on the good ol’ boys club, while offering little to back it up. A simple Google search would yield the necessary information needed about Governor Palin.

This self-described “hockey mom” who likes to hunt and the great outdoors is also a life-long member of the NRA and supports drilling in Alaska, including the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR); has stated as recently as a month ago, then taken back, that she thinks global warming is not caused by man, and has gone up against the government to remove polar bears and beluga whales from the endangered species list. I guess that is what they are referring to when they say Governor Palin has gone against the good ol’ boys club, because a further look into her policies shows otherwise. Governor Palin is against a women’s right to choose, even in cases of rape and incest; she is against same sex marriages and in the past has supported referendums denying same sex couples state health benefits. Governor Palin also supports the death penalty and abstinence only sex education programs, and her foreign policy literally scares me.

These are not new policies; Governor Palin does not represent the reform this country needs, just like Senator McCain doesn’t. So, why did Senator McCain chose her as his running mate? Because she is a female, and because after the last 8 years of the Bush administration, they needed to present some form of opportunity of change. For Governor Palin, being female is the only difference.

It is true, the woman vote is powerful. But, to expect us to vote for someone, to expect anyone, to vote for someone because of their gender, is insulting. I have never once doubted that in my life time I would see a female president, or a could-be female president. However, I, like so many other Americans, imagined that the female candidate would be someone worthy and capable of the position, not someone who was chosen as a political gimmick. Personally, I cast my vote based upon the candidate who has the most similar political policies as I do.

While I do not agree with Governor Palin’s political policies, it is not the reason I do not find her capable of the office of vice president. Governor Palin put it best as to why she isn’t ready to be vice president: "As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?" (CNBC's "Kudlow & Co", July 2008)

Only Slightly by Matt Hudgins

by Matt Hudgins

Click to enlarge

Your Headlines for September 17, 2008

From the DoF Newswire:

Science

Half Man/Half Walrus Discovered

Society

Everybody in Elevator Pretending Not to Smell Fart

Fashion

Crocs® Creator Admits "It was all a joke"

Also takes credit for Uggs, Zubaz

(Above) A pair of  Crocs. 

Says creator George Boedecker, Jr,

"They're proof that with the right

amount of advertising, people will

buy anything."

Worst Books-on-Tape Narrators of All-Time

A look at the worst-selling books-on-tape of all-time as compiled by the Diary of Fools Dept. of Made-up Shit.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants by Ann Brashares

Narrated by: Macho Man Randy Savage

**************

A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking

Narrated by: Rosie Perez

*************

The Berenstain Bears and The Big Honey Hunt by Jan Berenstain

Narrated by: Stephen Hawking

***************

The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler

Narrated by: James Brown

****************

The Illiad by Homer

Narrated by: Gilbert Gottfried

****************

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky

Laboriously sounded out by: Jessica Simpson

It's ka-RAAAzy George's Awesome Artillery BLOWOUT!!!!

By Blaine Fridley, Editor-in-Chief/Skiddish Pacifist

What's George Dubs' plan for solidifying U.S. alliances, making a little cash and spreading that special, superior brand of "democracy" that only the U.S. of fuckin' A. can bring you?

Guns. Lots of Guns.

Call it the Neo Doctrine.

According to a recent NY Times article, ka-RAzy George's Dept. of Defense Heavy Weaponry Liquidators is holding an X-PLOSIVE sales event and EVERYTHING!MUST!GO!

"From tanks, helicopters and fighter jets to missiles, remotely piloted aircraft and even warships, the Dept. of Defense has agreed so far this fiscal year to sell or transfer more than $32 billion in weapons and other military equipment to foreign governments, compared with $12 billion in 2005."

That's in addition to the estimated $96 billion in direct sales of less sophisticated weapons bought by foreign governments. For the more advanced weaponry, our peace-loving nation works with U.S. military contractors serving as brokers to procure arms for foreign customers at prices so low, they're ka-RAAAZY!

Here's a leaked copy of the Dept. of Defense's promotional sales video obtained by the DoF from an anonymous source (i.e. YouTube):




So, Air Force deputy undersecretary Bruce Lemkin, what is this semi-automatic SALE-A-BRATION about?

"This is about building a more secure world," he's quoted as saying in the NYT article.

Obviously. The more guns our country can get into people's hands, the safer we're all gonna be.

There's no way that CAN'T end well, right? Oops.

New 9/11 Memorial Opens, CNN Poops on it

by Gloucester de la Vegas, Gifted/Talented Child, Arts/Culture Correspondent

We here at "Diary of Fools" like making fun of other people. Why wouldn't we? Sure, I eat paste and believe in the Tooth Fairy, but I still know they deserve it. Welcome to life, old people. It's half about sorrow and half about how dumb you are. I mean, not YOU, but those other people.

But if CNN is going to put up an article concerning a new memorial to those who died on September 11, 2001, in terrorist attacks...why would they make the headline "Pentagon 9/11 memorial honors victims in symbols, concrete"? And the lack of capitalization is theirs, not mine. And that's just the start of it. If you read this "article", you will learn exactly how NOT to write about sculpture, and how to make every possible mistake.

Here's just one key quote: "the wall is designed to remind visitors of the youngest and oldest victims, wrapping the memorial in symbolic imagery." Well, put simply, and I guess that's how you like it, CNN.com, -- an artistic memorial to a tragedy can't be, so to speak "wrapped in [its own] symbolic imagery". No artwork can, that doesn't make sense.

In about 13 years I hope I can get an internship at CNN.com so I can advise the staff of writers there how to write. I'm joking, of course, I'm sure by then they'll know how. But for fun, here's a sentence like the one referenced above. You know, just for practice: "The Popsicle, wrapped in its wrap that graphically suggested the brand 'Popsicle' and enclosed the frozen treat, was symbolic of an ice cream product." I smell Pulitzer.

Yes, that's what this whole Web "article" is like. And for the record, it's actually because I, Gloucester de la Vegas, actually do care about America and 9/11 and humanity, and stuff. So I just would like a major news source like CNN not to make a mess of it. I'm in 1st grade now, and I know that I have moronic peers who write like monkeys with a crayon. But at least they're not paid by CNN to do it.

Hey, personal note to Sarah Palin: I'll bet you could read this CNN article and not find anything wrong with it. Nothing personal, it's just a gut feeling. You seem like a nice mommy, and I'm in a position to know, uniquely. But if you think I'm saying you're a bit dumb, shrill, self-serving, lack circumspection, and really don't have any normal human decency, yes, that's what I suspect about you. I'm sure you're very busy being on the campaign trail and you don't have time to consider what is or isn't good journalism. And the liberal media will always hate you because you're beautiful, or so you think.

But again, awesome mommy, I'm sure.

The above statements do not represent the editorial or moral position of "Diary of Fools".dot whatever. This is a legal disclaimer, of sorts. It may not be perfect, but it does the job. Get used to it, old people. This is the new way of doing things. You'll see when I'm 18, which will be the year 2020. There will be new "World Trade towers" by then, and they won't even be new any more, and hopefully the world will be at peace.