Friday, February 06, 2009

The Horrible Truth About Renee Zellweger



The following printout was retrieved from Southern California by the DoF Industrial Espionage and Light Opera Society:

---
----Init_Boot: zellwegerbot_X51 --- Serial: 405629
---
---- CPU_check: okay
---
---- RAM_check: okay
---
---- Run_Directive_Prime: Locate lantern-jawed male unit and activate program: A01_adorability
---
---- Run_Directive_Secondary: Kill Osama Bin Laden
---
---- Sensor_check: okay
---
---
---
---- Input_detect: misunderstanding_humorous
---
-------- Run_Sequence: K04_Cute_Scrunchy_Face
---
---- Analysis_Report: Carbon Adorability Response 64%
---
---- Adorability_Check: FAIL
---
-------- Run_Sequence: X08_payload_detonation
---
---
---
---
---
---
---- Connection_Terminated


The DoF Industrial Espionage Light Opera Society is currently accepting new applicants for all positions.

3 comments:

Tajmccall said...

Great first post. I'll say it again.

Merton Sussex said...

I'll join that sing-along.

Bravo, Knarf. Squinty McPinchpuss had it coming.

Frank White said...

Oh God. I hear the faint whirring of servos... I think she's in my house.