Local:
Spoiled Little Asshole Danny Baker, 6, Declares Mac & Cheese "Yucky," Refuses to Eat It
Repeated entreaties from Mother Angela, 31 (mostly regarding starving kids in Africa, Danny's raves about the same dish just yesterday, and how playtime will be canceled), fall on deaf ears
Sports:
Tiger Woods Back on Golf Course For Masters Following Self-Imposed Exile in Wake of Sex Scandal
Woods descended upon Augusta National with 17-person entourage, six caddies, seven-vehicle convoy, four personal photographers, two assistants, and zero wives in tow. When asked by reporters about all the bimbos he fucked, he replied, "No comment. Please respect my privacy."
Tech:
Apple iPad Released, sells estimated 250,000 units in first 24 hours
Despite the fact that the over-priced, under-powered, molasses-slow and extremely easy-to-drop unit doesn't do a single damn thing many existing appliances don't already do better, countless trend-humping douchebags return to Apple stores mere hours after their purchase of the unit in order to buy iSpooge™, Apple's branded screen-semen removal agent
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2 comments:
You know its Mert, when it has that squeaky fresh feeling scent.
Also found after use of most home douche products.
I'm detecting a distinct note of jealousy through all three stories…Merton you will eat what is served you, not fuck bimbos or have an entourage, nor will you get an iPad.
So there.
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