F*ck You, I Like It: Beyonce Edition

About F*ck You, I Like It:
F*ck You, I Like It is a new recurring column wherein I publicly (and defensively) announce my support for a certain pop music performer and/or song(s). You know, the sh!t those hipper- than-thou horn rimmed-wearing elitist music critics *cough* pitchfork *cough* *cough* are secretly listening to on their iPod while sitting on a stick and paging through the latest CMJ.

First up?

Beyonce's "Suga Mama", off of 2007's B'Day release.

F*ck you, I like it.

And to explain why, we must start with this 1 undeniable truth: B can sing like a m'uhf*cka. If you can not at least concede that fact, you might as well stop reading now.

I've always said, much like any superpower, Beyonce's vocals can be used for good or evil. Many of her songs (Check on It, Upgrade U, Halo) put her in Black Mamba territory, true. But don't let those few songs (OK, almost all of her songs) turn you off completely. 'cuz when backed by the right track? Make way for R&B Wonder Woman, boys and girls!

Por ejemplo:


And to firm up my argument (and my wiener), I present "Freakum Dress" from the same album:


If neither of these songs had you doing the cabbage patch in your cubicle, or at least giving your neck a workout, please ask your doctor about the best options for treating clinical depression. You are dead inside.

PS- She can do the damn thang on a slow track, too (from her '03 solo debut):

Beyonce Knowles.

F*ck you, I like it.

Note: I have nothing against horn-rimmed glasses, or most people that wear them. In fact, I think they're kinda cool looking. It just so happens a lot of miserable hipsters wear them.