Nut-Punch of the Week, Feb 1st-5th, '10

As we've discussed previously, the Nut-Punch is a figurative injury. A symbolic assault. And, being as it's about the furthest thing from an actual injury to the gonads imaginable, it's also incidental whether the target in question even has literal testes to begin with. Which becomes important to remember, especially in light of certain current events.

And it is in that spirit of equality for all (even when it comes to doling out nugget-knocks) that this week's nut-punch goes to none other than that Yukon Yokel herself. The Quitter-in-Chief. Herr'oner the Harlot.

Sarah Palin.

I'd ask her to step up to the lectern to accept, but I don't have time to give her a road map, and turn-by-turn directions.

Look, there's no longer any doubt that she's stupid. The debate over her glaringly-obvious lack of anything resembling a functional intellectual capacity was put to rest a long time ago. Whether citing the facts about her that were made apparent during the '08 presidential campaign (She doesn't read newspapers, is unclear on the role of the Vice President, and cites policies of governmental agencies that don't exist), or the stuff that's come out since the McCain/Palin ticket's defeat (she can't name her favorite founding father, quits her single term as governor 18 months shy, and doesn't know that Africa is a continent), any questions about her wattage have been answered dozens of times over. She's so fucking dim, she makes Dan Quayle look like a card-carrying Mensan. Yessiree, if there's any one thing Sarah Palin is good at, it's being a laughingstock dumbass.

At least, I thought she was good at it.

Nope. Not even THAT much.

Recently, Palin was invited to address a Teabagger's convention in order to speak to the morons who blame the current economic crisis on the guy who got it dumped on him. While there, she agreed to participate in a short Q&A with the audience. And, because she is a fucking flaming nitwit, she insisted that the questions be submitted in advance. Understandable, I suppose. Like most, I saw the V.P. debate, and the Couric interviews during the campaign. And when Sarah doesn't get the test questions in advance, she tends to choke harder than she would if there were actual testicles in her mouth.

So far, whatever. Garden-variety ass-covering bullshit from a proven imbecile. Nothing we didn't expect. But it's what happened during the actual Q&A that really launches her to new depths of "duuuuh." Because even lunk-headed dipshits who need crib notes to pass a test know not to keep them where anyone will see them, and to not make it obvious that you're cheating when you look at 'em. But no...not Sarah Palin.

Watch:



Wow. Just...Wow. It's one thing to be an abject, irredeemable bonehead. It's entirely another to be so motherfucking OBVIOUS about it. She's not even good at being stupid!

As if her hit-you-over-the-head obvious super-sneaky palm-peek wasn't enough, it seems she forgot her notes were in there while she was giving a speech at a different time. Several times, she gestured to the audience with her palms out, revealing her cheat sheet!

Whoopsie. Shouldn't have done that, huh?

And what makes this even funnier is the fact that during the speech in question, she actually criticized President Obama's use of a teleprompter! You could cut the irony with a rusty spoon. At least he (like most presidents before him since the invention of the bloody thing) uses the 'prompter to give speeches of consequence and detail. For the love of Christ, you had to write party tentpoles like "Energy," "taxes" and "lift America's spirits" on your hand to remember to mention them?!? That'd be like if Obama had to scribble crap like "health care," "job creation" and "D.A.D.T. go bye-bye" on the underside of his tie before the State of the Union Address!

Y'know, it's sad...Palin recently announced that she "isn't ruling out" a bid for the presidency come 2012. But given the fact that she's so goddamned stupid that she even sucks at BEING stupid, I simply cannot imagine how she thinks she has even the faintest glimmer of being taken seriously as a candidate.

That said, as a humorist...I hope she runs. We could use the material.