Monday, February 01, 2010

Your Headlines for Monday, February 1st


















Health-

Experts believe over 40,000 Americans will die due to Heart Disease in 2010. Evil Smoking Donut extremely pleased world domination going according to plan.













Television-

LOSTnerds gearing up for tomorrow's final season premiere by furrowing brow and obviously making shit up as they go along.








Sports-

Overpaid football players bitch about being in Miami instead of Hawaii for worthless ProBowl. Angry God secretly smites them with rainy game and three years of horrible tasting hookers.














Music-

Awful fucking music yet again sweeps the Grammy awards held last night. Naming yourself "Lady _________" something beats out "Naming your ironic rock piece The ____s" in the coveted "Aren't we supposed to be fucking creative, why are we just copying each other? Oh that's right, cause we're uncreative fucks in it for the drugs and money" category.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

that sonuvabitching evil smoking doughnut would make a good veggietales nemesis.

Tajmccall said...

You will see him again, mysterious stranger/lover.